New Loch Ness Monster Photo Is 'Best One Ever'

loch ness monster
Dramatization. Obvs.
Before you shut down your computer for the night and head out to enjoy your weekend, I think you should know that the Loch Ness Monster has been photographed, and man oh man, is it something. The photographer and professional Nessie hunter says this is the best pic yet of the elusive lake dweller and proves, you know, that radar and sonar and all that underwater camera technology are alllll mistaken when they say there's no such thing as monsters. Just look at this heaping beast of a mythical miscreant! Naysayers be damned! There's no denying it exists now.


Except that there is, big time.

I appreciate this man's dedication to the lake and to its legend, but dude, you cannot hype this photo as the best one ever. It's of a fish. Or a turtle, or, you know, any other naturally occurring fresh-water reptile or some sort of all gill-bearing aquatic craniate animal that lacks limbs with digits. Hell, it could even be a piece of cardboard.

Point is, I'm not really impressed. The photographer claims he had someone in the US Army verify that he photographed an animate object in the water, but ... I don't want to sound mean or anything ... but big whoop. You could photograph my toe in a bathtub and it'd be verified as an animate object in water, as well.

It's all good, though. Everyone loves a good Loch Ness story -- same with Bigfoot, el Chupacabra, and a well-dressed pig prancing down the highway. Most of us enjoy the momentary escape these stories provide -- they take us, very briefly, into a fantasy where our world does, in fact, have monsters and huge hairy men who live in the woods.

It's ridiculously fun.

Thoughts on the Loch Ness?


Photo via unukorno/Flickr

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