'Rogue' Dolphin Attacks Swimmers Because He's Bitter, Lonely & Damaged (VIDEO)

dolphinAww, come on! Really? Please don't tell me dolphins are the latest creature to start chomping on people for no apparent reason. Dolphins are supposed to be friendly! They're like, the one animal besides bunnies you're supposed to be able to approach without fear. Except not anymore, apparently, because there's a "rogue" bottlenose dolphin terrorizing swimmers in Louisiana's Lake Pontchartrain. They say he's bitten 3 people already! When will Flipper's reign of terror end?!

Wait a minute, wait a minute. What's a bottlenose dolphin doing in a lake, anyway? Well, as it turns out, Flipper the Furious has every reason to be a little prickly with people. He was one of a small pod of dolphins who ended up in the lake after Hurricane Katrina; over time, the other dolphins swam to the open sea ... leaving this menacing mammal all by his lonesome. Of course he's a bitter bottlenose! And his sad story gets even worse ...

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According to marine life experts, the dastardly dolphin appears to have "a few injuries related to its proximity to humans -- such as a healing cut from a sharp fish hook." Yowch! Experts also "observed people encircling and corralling the dolphin with their jet-skis and boats" and "reaching out to grab his fins and flippers and otherwise touch and pet him with their hands and objects."

Whaaaa?! And people think this dolphin is dangerous? Clearly he's just defending himself. (Or, as the experts put it, "showing normal male dominance behavior.")

In other words, we broke the dolphin.

So what next? For now, locals are being warned to steer clear of the dolphin and stop doing stupid sh*t like corralling him with freakin' jet skis. After that, who knows? He may never be ready to go back to the ocean, but that would be our fault, not his.

Just like all the other wild animals driven to attack humans because humans don't have any respect for wild animals.

Do you think people made this normally sweet and friendly dolphin nasty?

Image via Ste Elmore/Flickr

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