Eating Faces Is Wrong & the 'Bath Salts Defense' Doesn't Make It Right

Another day, another 'zombie' attack. This is getting downright spooky, ain't it? On Saturday, a Louisiana man showed up at the house of his ex-wife, got into an altercation with her current husband, and decided to, well, eat his face. Naturally! This seems to be the way to handle things now. The man, according to reports, took a "quarter size" chunk out of the other man's face. And, get this, a friend of the latest alleged face-eater says that she believes the man, Carl Jacquneaux, was on bath salts at the time. Well, duh! I don't mean to make light of a horrible situation, but bath salts seems to be the new 'Twinkie defense.'


Apparently after Jacquneaux bit his ex-wife's husband's face, he went to a friend's house, held a knife to his neck, and said, "I'll kill you if you don't tell me where your Dad's gun is." Wow. This sounds like a neighborhood I do NOT want to live in. So the friend gave him the gun (what are friends for?) and the face-eater left. But then, thankfully, he was arrested before he could chew on anyone else.

What does this all say? I think it says that there are a lot of freaking crazy people out there who are mentally ill or on drugs, or both, and are uneducated, poor, and can't control their anger. And they see "zombie" and "bath salts" all over the preserve, and boom! they now has a convenient -- and trendy -- excuse for whatever awfulness they've committed. Bath salts!

Unfortunately for Jacquneaux, no blood testing was done on him after the crime, so it will be impossible to prove that bath salts had anything to do with his face biting. But maybe that will work in his favor, since it will be impossible to disprove too. Brilliant!

Do you think bath salts should be a legal defense?


Image via Raquel Baranow/Flickr

Read More >