5 Funny Quotes From the Bin Laden Documents -- Who Knew!? (VIDEO)

bin writinWell it's been a year since that fateful day when U.S. Navy SEALs killed Osama bin Laden, and U.S. officials are now finally releasing a few of the thousands of documents collected at bin Laden's compound. What they're revealing is a leader who was losing control of his crew. Sure he was plotting to assassinate President Obama. But he was also plotting -- an al-Qaida rebranding?!?

Look, I take terrorism very seriously (hello, I was in downtown NYC on 9/11). But some of these bin Laden quotes are actually unintentionally hilarious.


Guess who was totally obsessed with American cable news? Mr. bin Laden. He had his PR guy, Adam Gadahn, write up a little guide to help them decide which networks to send videos. 

Adam said all the networks were pretty much the same "except (Fox News) channel which falls into the abyss as you know, and lacks neutrality too." LOL, even they thought Fox was too biased! SIGH, you know Fox is going to take this as a compliment.

"I used to think that MSNBC channel may be good and neutral a bit, but it has lately fired two of the most famous journalists — Keith Olbermann and Octavia Nasser the Lebanese." What? They were Keith Olbermann fans? Gah! Oh man, Keith's infamy sinks him ever lower.

"All the political talk in America is about the economy, forgetting or ignoring the war and its role in weakening the economy." Marsha, Marsha, Marsha! Why is America always talking about the economy? What about US? Is America, like, mad at us or something? Feeling so ignored.

Bin Laden thought Vice President Biden was a total knucklehead. "Obama is the head of infidelity and killing him automatically will make Biden take over the presidency for the remainder of the term, as is the norm over there. Biden is totally unprepared for that post, which will lead the US into a crisis.” DOH, Biden! They did not take him seriously at all. Dude, that is such a slam. Of course, Biden didn't want us to take out bin Laden, so ... good call?

And then there's the rebranding. In a letter bin Laden brings up "a very important matter that came to me, which is changing the name of (Qa'ida al-Jihad)." He adds, "It would be nice if you could discuss and come up with appropriate names that would not be easily shortened to a word that does not represent us." And then he makes a bunch of suggestions. But I like Jon Stewart's ideas better!


Do you remember what you were doing when you learned Osama bin Laden had been killed?


Image via The Daily Show

Read More >