Frozen Cows in Cabin About to Be Sawed to Bits by Media

frozen cowsI bet "sawing up frozen cows" was not in the job description, but three Forest Service staff members have been assigned to the macabre task of doing just that. There is a cabin in a remote part of the Colorado Rockies, eight miles from any road, where six cows wandered inside when they got separated from the herd. Snowshoers stumbled upon the startling scene a few weeks ago and now some unlucky folks have been told to go in that there cabin and get to work a sawin'.


The motivation is that it'll be a lot easier to deal with these dead bovines now, when they're frozen, than when they're thawed.

Authorities thought long and hard about how to handle this chilling, and chilly, situation, and even considered blowing the cabin to bits with dynamite, or setting fire to the whole thing. Eventually, they settled on sending three ranch hands, three Forest Service guys, and three members of the media into the structure to carve the cows into pieces. Once the gruesome job is done, the frozen body parts will be laid out in the forest for bears and/or Bear Grylls to enjoy.

Listen, I know it sounds terrible and all, but since I'm a meat eater, I can't really take any high-ground here when it comes to what the Forest Service has decided to do with this peculiar situation. They can't just sit around, spinning their veals, heffing and sawing. I mean spinning their wheels, hemming and hawing! Whoops.

Anyway, probably the most interesting part of this bizarre story is that three members of the media are heading to the little cabin of horrors to report on whatever happens. How many photos do we really need, guys? How many eye-witness accounts? The fact that a simple frozen cow cutting endeavour can turn into a media frenzy is fantastic. No stone left unturned, people. No stone. Just doing my part.

Have you heard of anything like this happening before?


Photo via idleformat/Flickr

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