Cop Hit With Big, Pink Sex Toy: That Must've Been Hard

copThink you've got a tough job? Try being the cop who responded to a call at Lisa Anderson's house this week. Word has it the upstate New York woman threw a pink dildo at his head.

Can you imagine how that call back to headquarters went? Officer to Sergeant: "Sarge, I was assaulted, please send back-up." Sergeant to Officer: "Sorry to hear that, what'd she get you with? Mace? Some sharp fingernails?" Officer to Sergeant: "Well no, it was a dildo." Sergeant to Officer: "A what?"

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Poor guy! Not only does he have a knock on the noggin, but knowing the brotherhood of police officers the way I do, trust me, he is never going to live that one down.

I know a lot of cops. A LOT of cops. I've got a cousin in the troopers. My best friend's brother is a cop. Another close friend's husband is too. And then there's the guy who is like a brother to me. Oh, and the friend of the family I grew up thinking was my uncle. I could keep the list going, but you get the point. I have heard some stories over the years!

And no, none of them involved assault by dildo. It's more run of the mill stuff. You know: they show up at a domestic violence call and some jerk pulls a gun on them. It's not a job for the faint of heart. So I respect the heck out of what our boys and girls in blue do for us every day.

But it's just when you think you have a handle on what they have to deal with when you hear about a cop getting beaned in the head by a dildo. And yes, he pulled out his handcuffs and took Lisa Anderson downtown, where she was booked on a charge of misdemeanor harassment and released. And here's a bit of history for you: this is not the first case of vibrator violence against a member of the force. An Illinois woman was booked two years ago for whipping a "clear, rigid, feminine pleasure device" (official legal term for dildo, apparently) out of her dresser drawer and using it on an officer.

So ladies and germs, next time you see an officer eating his donut and sipping his coffee, give him a smile and a wave. He could be one dispatch away from a dildo-wielding maniac! It takes a lot to protect and serve ...

What's the craziest assault on an officer story you've heard over the years?

 

Image via D.C.Atty/Flickr

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