Poor Romney Just Can't Win -- Seriously, He Can't

romney sketchSee me bopping around in my desk chair here? It's because I'm listening to music, not because I just read that the GOP thinks Mitt Romney can't win the presidential election.

What's that? Why am I doing what looks like a victory hula dance next to my gray, fluorescent-lit cubicle? I'm exercising, of course!

Because if you want to know the truth, I'm not happy at all. No. I'm sad, so very, very sad. Poor Mittens. GOP no likey! I'm actually starting to feel sorry for the guy. Man, he has everything: Moolah, tallness, squeaky-clean life, and presidential hair. And yet -- it's just not working. Even his own party doesn't believe in him.


I mean, check this out: George Will thinks Republicans should just shrug off the presidential race and "turn their energies to a goal much more attainable than, and not less important than, electing Romney." Former Republican congressman Joe Scarborough said, "I have yet to meet a single person in the Republican establishment that thinks Mitt Romney is going to win the general election this year."

What a supportive crew! But wait -- things may not look so grim for Romney after all. I mean, this is just a stage. Republicans were divided during the primaries, but now that that's all over with, everyone will join hands and sing "Proud to Be an American" (the Republican "Kumbaya") together in support of Romney. Here's how political analyst Bruce Buchanan puts it.

It’s an emotional process characterized by stages of acceptance, almost like Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s stages of grief. It will take a while to adjust to that reality, but it will eventually benefit Romney.

Right? Getting behind Romney is LIKE THE STAGES OF GRIEF. You're feeling Romney now, aren't you? You're really feeling him. I know it. Kind of in that same way you were feeling it after your dog died. Yeah, that Mitt Romney. He isn't giving me John Kerry 2004 flashbacks at all, you?

Do you think voters will actually start to like Romney at some point?


Image via DonkeyHotey/Flickr

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