Dominique Strauss-Kahn's 'Aggravated Pimping' Warning Inspires This Rap Song

dominique strauss-kahnDominique Strauss-Kahn, I feel bad for you, son. I got 99 problems but "aggravated pimping" ain't one! That's right, in case you haven't heard, the ex-International Monetary Fund chief was formally warned yesterday that he is under investigation for "aggravated pimping" for his alleged role in a high-profile prostitution ring.

Damn! Way to keep it real, DSK. As if the rape accusations and rumors of regular old run-of-the-mill pimpin' weren't enough. Apparently the charge of aggravated pimping "alleges involvement in the habitual operation of a prostitution racket. Specifically, 'aggravated' means on a regular and involved basis, and 'pimping' means actually facilitating a prostitution operation, not just being a customer."

I bet an aggravated pimp gets to wear extra gold chains.

Will DSK be charged and convicted? I don't know. All I know is Jay-Z has some serious competition. "Big Pimpin'" ain't nothin' compared to "Aggravated Pimpin'" ...


Dominique Strauss-Kahn has a whole new career ahead of him, if you ask me. So I went ahead and wrote his first hit single for him:

Uhh, uh, uh ...

It's aggravated pimpin', baby

Spendin' euros

Fillin' up da hotels with dem fancy French hos

Can't bust the Carlton Affair

Coz I got savoir faire

Uhh, uh, uh ...

It's aggravated pimpin', baby

Makin' euros

Throwin' nasty parties til it's time to go-go

Can't put my derriere in jail

Coz I got crazy bail

Uhh, uh, uh ...

It's aggravated pimpin', baby ...

Zut alors!

Mon Dieu! Maybe DSK (which already sounds like a rapper name anyway) and Jay-Z can go on tour together!!

What do you think about Dominique Strauss-Kahn's "aggravated pimping" warning?


Image via World Trade Organization/Flickr

Read More >