Mysterious Booms in Wisconsin Are a Supernatural Theorist's Dream Come True

clintonvilleEveryone's wondering what the heck is going on in Clintonville, Wisconsin. The city of 4,600 has been experiencing loud booms since Sunday and no one can figure out the source. Residents say it sounds like thunder or underground fireworks and it's so reverberant that dishes and picture frames are being shaken from their places in people's homes. The town has hired seismologists and geologists to try and get to the bottom of this mystery, but so far, there are no answers. As of Wednesday, the booming had stopped, but understandably, residents aren't exactly at ease.

Could you imagine if your city just started, like, rumbling? Officials say the cause is not a gas leak, or any problem with the subterranean sewers, or military activity or mine blasting or anything. They really just.don't.know what it is. 


Obviously, they've never seen War of the Worlds or Super 8. Any knowledge of supernatural thrillers would lead anyone to conclude that the inexplicable booms are easily explicable with an alien theory.

But I suppose assuming that the Earth is going to birth some 50-foot creature whose only goal is to destroy human civilization is a bit premature. There are science-y tests to be done before we can all grab a flashlight and run into the woods to fend for ourselves.

Similar reports of unexplained booms have been recorded in towns all over the world, which is either comforting or alarming, depending on your outlook. Coming up with outrageous reasons for the booms can be fun -- aliens! the governments building underground doomsday tunnels because they know something we don't! the Canadians are up to something! ancient dinosaur eggs are hatching! North America is about to split in two! -- but I gotta go with the good old fashioned fart theory. Earth's gassy. She's just got a let one rip and then everything will go back to normal.

What do you think is going on in Clintonville?


Photo via chefranden/Flickr

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