The Pope's New Cologne Must Smell Like Heaven

pope benedictCan you believe? Da Pope-ah! He'sa get-ah his own cologne-ah! Oh, he's-a gonna smell so nice-ah!

It's true! (I couldn't make this up if I tried.) The Pope is getting his very own custom-made cologne courtesy of boutique perfume maker Silvana Castoli, who's also created scents for the likes of Sting, Madonna and King Juan Carlos of Spain. Apparently the Pontiff's personal blend was inspired by his "love of nature" and contains "hints of lime tree, verbena, and grass."

Mmmm. "Pope. It smells like a ... lawnmower."

What?! No, no, that can't be right. The Pope isn't supposed to smell like verbena and lime tree. He's supposed to smell like spaghetti and meatballs. Like incense and candlewax. Like ... garlic. And maybe just a whiff of mothballs, because, you know, he's not a young guy. (Pretty sure he knew Moses personally.)


But here's what I really want to know: What is the Pope's signature perfume going to be called? Hopefully not something dull and functional like "Benedict XVI."

Not when there are so many other blessed options to consider ...

"Holy Water"

"Heavenly Host"

"Baptize Me"

"Eau de Holy Spirit"

"High Heaven"


"WWJD – What would Jesus Dab (behind his ears)?"


"B.C. – Before Cologne"


"Pope on a Rope"


"Miracle Man"



"Amazing Grace"

"Garden of Eden"

"Vatican Assassin"

"Spicy Meat-a-ball"

"Sacred Vow"


"Pontiff Sportif"

What do you think the Pope should smell like?

Image via Sergey Gabdurakhmanov/Flickr

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