Arizona GOP Debate: Which Candidate Cares Least About Women? (VIDEO)

cnn gop debate arizonaAnd so, death by GOP debate torture continues. This week's Republican debate in Arizona had two central themes: 1. Santorum is surging, let's get him! and 2. Who hates women more? Item #1 can be summarized as follows. Ron Paul: "Big fat faker! You're a fake conservative! Faker!" And then they all threw playground sand at Santorum and wouldn't share their toy shovels.

But enough about that. Let's talk about how much these candidates hate women, especially women who make the SEXY but don't want to make more babies. And especially women who get raped but who would rather not have a child by that rapist. Let's hear what the candidates think of that, shall we? YES, WE SHALL.

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So the fun starts when John King asked a viewer-submitted question about birth control. "Which candidates believe in birth control and if not, why?" You know, like "do you believe in the tooth fairy?" or "dinosaurs and creationism -- what's up with that?" So naturally the audience booed. Why? Because their birth control failed? Did they not follow the directions? The condom goes on the guys, and it's the ladies who take the pill, but you have to take it every day -- just so you know. Anyway, I probably should include the audience in the contest for who hates women the most. But this is about the candidates, so let's go there.

cnn gop debate arizona

Gingrich just doesn't understand why the eee-leeet media wouldn't ask why Barak Obama "voted in favor of legalizing infanticide." And that would be because he did not do that. Did you know Gingrich is an historian? By the way, Gingrich thinks the morning-after pill counts as abortion. And guess what? It does not. Ask Ron Paul, who happens to be a doctor. He called out Gingrich for that.

Romney's response to the question: Let's make this about religion, because that's sexier!

Ooh, but didn't Romney force the Catholic Church to provide morning-after pills to rape victims as Governor in Massachusetts? OH NOES! How dare he put rape victims' rights above the rights of egg cells who may or may not hook up with rapist sperm while they're all fraternizing there in the victim's ladyparts! What's up, Romney?

“There was no requirement in Massachusetts for the Catholic Church to provide morning-after pills to rape victims. That was entirely voluntary on their report. There was no such requirement.” In other words, if you were raped and had the second misfortune of going to a Catholic hospital, they don't have to give you contraception that would prevent a pregnancy from resulting from that crime. This is your cue to clap approvingly.

Santorum wants to talk about "the dangers of contraception." He brings up the rising rates of single parenthood, the dangers of teen sex, babies raising babies, and the economic hardships that come with all of this. But the answer is not to make sure these "children" have access to birth control. Nope. The answer is less birth control so they'll stop having so much sex. Like that would work.

And then they got into an argument over whether Santorum did or did not vote for funding Planned Parenthood as part of Title X. Santorum has tried to deny this in the past, but at the debate, he said, OK FINE YOU GUYS, I did, but it was part of "a large appropriation bill that includes a whole host of other things" (squirm, long boring civics lesson about the legislative process), and by the way, I still had a "personal moral objection to it," so shove it, haters.

Ron Paul: “If you voted for Planned Parenthood like the senator has, you voted for birth control. ... and you voted for abortion." OMG, Santorum supports abortion? If you say so, Ron.

But then to bolster his anti-birth-control cred, Santorum said he wanted to pass Title XX, which would fund abstinence education. Not to be confused with Title XXX, which is a porn movie about conservative senators getting it on with Planned Parenthood protesters. Spoiler: No one uses birth control!

In conclusion, sex is for procreation, birth control = abortion, we will not pay for your abortion-like birth controlling ways, Jesus cries when you make Catholics give rape victims birth control, every sperm is sacred. Everybody wins!

What did you think about the way the candidates answered the birth control question during last night's debate?

 

Images via CNN/YouTube

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