Winner of $336.4 Million Powerball Is Smart to Keep Us Guessing

powerballSo. Imagine you win the Powerball jackpot. I know, I know. "AGAIN? I already imagined that 10 times today." But seriously, imagine you won the $336.4 million Powerball jackpot: What would you do? Jump up and scramble to claim your winnings, screaming MONEEEE MONEEEE ALL THE MONEEE ARE BELONG TO MEEE!!! all the way, right?

I mean, that's what I picture myself doing. OR NOT. Somebody in Rhode Island has won that jackpot. The ticket was purchased at a Stop & Shop in Newport. The winning numbers were drawn on Saturday. And yet here it is Monday -- and no one has claimed the prize yet. What are they waiting for?


Actually, maybe they're just sensible. Supposedly most people who win a boat-load o' money suddenly get really chill and strategic-minded. After all, suddenly winning that much money is life-changing, and you kind of need to get your ducks in a row before you claim that cash. So here are a few scenarios I'm imagining for the winner.

Breaking up with boyfriend/girlfriend. Maybe the winner is involved with someone in sort of a casual way. It's a relationship, but not a great one. Definitely not someone the winner loves enough to share all that money with. Best thing to do is to snip that relationship in the bud.

Lawyering up. Does the winner owe people money? Has the winner dropped a baby or two along life's highways, and not taken responsibility? Perhaps the winner is in the middle of a bankruptcy? It's not the noble thing to do, but you know that winner would be consulting with a lawyer.

Finding one of them money-banking-investment type people. They're called financial advisors, and they help you figure out how to manage all your extra money. If you win that much you'll want someone really sharp, who can help you with everything from taxes to planning for your future. Because do you really want to spend all $336.4 million on jet skis? You can't ride them when you're 98.

Savoring the anticipation. Yeah, crazy but true: I imagine it must feel phenomenal to just sit there and think, "Threehundredthirtysixpointfourmilliondollars, threehundredthirtysixpoinfourmilliondollars, threehundredthirtysixpointfourmilliondollars ..." for just a day or two before you actually have that money in your scathingly lucky hands.

No hurry, winner! Take your time. Plan wisely. We'll still be here, waiting for you, all itching with envy.

What's the first thing you would do if you found out you had the winning Powerball jackpot ticket?


Image via kelley cree/Flickr

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