Rick Santorum’s Primary Sweep Shows Republicans Really Just Want Obama

rick santorumSeriously, Republicans. You want Obama to win, don't you? Because that's totally the message I'm getting from these schizzo caucus returns. "Um, I dunno, sick of Romney, Newt scares me, how about... Santorum?" In Minnesota, Mississippi, and even Colorado -- which I'd always considered a very sensible state! You really think Santorum's your guy? Silly voters.

I suspect a lot of Republican voters secretly harbor doubts about their slate of candidates -- and they also secretly believe President Obama is actually doing a pretty decent job. That would explain these erratic primary elections. A fickle election season just shows that voters aren't committed to booting Obama out of the White House.


How else can you explain this craziness? Just when you think voters are finally resigned to the most presidential-looking guy on the list (Romney, c'mon, you know people are pretty much voting for your hair), they up and change their minds. "On second thought, maybe I'll give the underdog a chance!"

We all love to see the underdog win. But you know what? That's not going to work in a general election. Sorry. You're not getting the majority of Americans to vote for a guy who staunchly supports the life of unborn children until they grown up and ask for gay marriage. It's 2012 and most of us are more evolved than that.

Here's what's happening on Facebook like this morning:

Me: Seriously, people. Santorum?

Friend 1: inorite?

Friend 2: I wish it were a well-planned joke.

Friend 3: I don't get it either.

Friend 4: Fine by me. They're just making it so much easier for Obama to win a second term. (2 "likes")

Friend 2: Word.

Yup, that's what people are really saying this morning. WTF, they must be joking, you really want to lose this one, etc. But hey, don't let me stop you! Go right ahead. In fact, it's been a while since you gave Ron Paul a whirl -- why don't you let him win the next couple of primaries? You know, just for shits and giggles. It would be fun!

Were you surprised at Santorum's wins this morning?

Image via Cafe Lindsay/Flickr

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