Rick Santorum Won't Have 'Shotgun Wedding' With Michele Bachmann

rick santorumLet's play a little political word association game, shall we? Okay. I'm going to throw out a few terms, you tell me what comes to mind: Rick Santorum. Michele Bachmann. "Shotgun Wedding." And ... go!

I know, your imagination is just bounding away right now with all sorts of crazy ideas involving Santorum, Bachmann, some backwoods preacher and a ring from the bottom of a Cracker Jack box. But in this case, "shotgun wedding" refers to a sophisticated election year plot hatched by a group of evangelical Christian pastors. A foolproof plan to dominate the upcoming Iowa Caucuses! Bwahahahaha! I mean, Hallelujah!

The "shotgun wedding" proposed to Santorum by the pastors was, of course, a political union: They asked for Santorum and Bachmann to merge their conservative campaigns to make one "unstoppable Iowa Caucuses ticket" guaranteed to win over the majority of Iowa's "churchgoers."

But here comes the surprising part ...

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Santorum said no!

That's right, former U.S. Senator Rick Santorum, notorious for his cringe-inducing comments about gays and rape victims, seems to have made -- gasp! -- a good decision.

What can this mean? Well, the development can only indicate one of two things. Ordinarily, Santorum's love of misappropriating biblical quotes and promoting bigotry is right in line with the evangelical agenda ... perhaps his views are changing and, correspondingly, he is beginning to distance himself from those who share his old beliefs.

Or perhaps even Rick Santorum doesn't want to be associated with Michele Bachmann. Though he did extend her a lovely complement when he called Bachmann a "good conservative." (As opposed to a Naughty Conservative, apparently. Which beat out French Maid this Halloween for most popular sexy costume.)

I suppose I'm relieved that Santorum and Bachmann didn't join forces to form some right-wing superpower, though I'd prefer it if neither one of them was a contender at all. Either way, I can't wait to hear Stephen Colbert's take on this one.

Why do you think Rick Santorum refused to merge his campaign with Michele Bachmann's?


Image via Gage Skidmore/Flickr

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