Scientists Prove Michele Bachmann & Snooki Have a Lot in Common -- Scary!!!

Michele Bachmann SnookiIf you're still harboring a secret desire to vote for Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann as the next president from the Republican Party, something to consider. The Tea Party candidate has been ranked right next to Jersey Shore star Snooki when it comes to reliability on scientific issues. Surprised?

You shouldn't be. The Sense About Science (SAS) campaign is only telling us something we should have noticed a long time ago.


Michele Bachmann and the Snooks have a wee bit more in common than is entirely appropriate for a woman running for president and a reality star whose motto is "study hard, but party harder." Let's consider the evidence, shall we?

1. Their taste for spewing pseudo-science: Parents were horrified when Bachmann told Today Show viewers that the HPV vaccine, meant to prevent the spread of the STD that can cause cervical cancer, will cause mental retardation. Quickly debunked by (real) scientists, the folks at SAS ranked it beside Snooki's assertion this year that the ocean is salty because "the water's all whale sperm."

2. Hair that fascinates other women: Snooki's old "poof" is so revered that here is an entire section of YouTube devoted to the re-creation of the big blob of hair. Meanwhile cosmetologists across the country confessed this summer that the requests for the Sarah Palin updo have been pushed aside for Michele Bachmann-esque highlights and bounce.

3. A craving to cake on the make-up: When Snooki revealed she uses kitty litter on her face as an exfoliant, she answered the question: what won't Snooki do for beauty? (answer: nothing). But Bachmann's not much better with her fondness for thick foundation and over-loaded lashes.

4. Awful mag covers: The "crazy eyes" Newsweek cover of the Congresswoman still haunts us in our sleep, but who can forget the reality star riding a rocket on the front page of Rolling Stone? No, really, who can forget it, because if you can, I need tips.

5. Their habit of re-writing history: If you read Snooki's book, A Shore Thing, first, my apologies. Second, you may remember her sharing her observation of "hippies" who resembled people getting off of the Mayflower at Ellis Island. If you do not see anything wrong with that statement, my 6-year-old has learned enough about history to set you right. And then there's Bachmann and her historical gaffes. Really, take your pick: calling serial killer John Wayne Gacy a hero (she meant actor John Wayne), saying the men who wrote the Constitution fought against slavery (even though many OWNED slaves), stating the historic battles at Lexington and Concord occurred in New Hampshire, need I go on?

The list goes on, but really, this is enough evidence that a Bachmann presidency would be as disastrous for the country as a GTL regime is for your job prospects, don't you think?


Images via david_shankbone/Flickr; Emily Shur/MTV

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