Kim Jong-Il's Atmospheric Mind Tricks & 11 Other Wacky 'Facts'

kim jong-ilNorth Korea's 69-year-old dictator Kim Jong-il died of heart failure on a train over the weekend, leaving the country in shock. While much of the world worries about the instability and unrest that may follow when his 20-something, duckling-like son Kim Jong-un takes over, I'm shaking my head, looking back at all the cray-cray the "Dear Leader" left in his wake. 

So, without further ado, 12 Wacky "Facts" About Kim Jong-il. And when I say wacky, I mean WACKY. And when I say "facts," I mean that very very loosely. Check it out.

  1. Schoolchildren in Korea are taught that when Kim Jong-il was born (in a log cabin, just like Lincoln!), a new star formed, there was a double rainbow, and winter turned into spring. Oh -- also a talking iceberg factors into the birth story somehow. Top that, baby Jesus!
  2. He reportedly spread the rumor that he could control the weather with his moods.
  3. Kim Jong-il has himself injected with the blood of virgins to stay young. Vampire much?
  4. According to state textbooks, Kim Jong-il does not pee or poo.
  5. Kim Jong-il once decided that giant rabbits (for reals, from a farm near Berlin) could solve North Korea's hunger problem. So he bought several, at $115 each, for a breeding program. And then, according to the rabbit breeder, it appears he ate them all on his birthday. Hunger problem solved!
  6. He was a composer. According to his biography, he composed six operas and also staged musicals.
  7. Between 1993 and 1994, Kim Jong-il spent $850,000 annually on Hennessy cognac.
  8. The 5'3" dictator had such a complex about shortness that he once told the public he'd found a wonder drug to cure shortness, rounded up the short people who showed up for the drug, and then sent them all away (who knows where?) so their defective shorty genes would no longer infect the population.
  9. He had a fear of flying, so he always traveled via ultra-luxury train. He had live lobsters airlifted for his meals.
  10. He was a massive film buff with 20,000 video tapes of movies. Some of his favorites: anything Elizabeth Taylor, Godzilla, and Rambo.
  11. He loved movies so much, in fact, that he had South Korean film director Shin Sang-ok and his actress wife, Choi Eun-hee, kidnapped to make movies for him. They made seven before finally escaping.
  12. If Twitter is any indication of Jong-il's legacy, we will remember Kim Jong-il best as he was depicted in Team America, the film by South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone. 

Did you know Kim Jong-il was this nutty?


Image via YouTube

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