Man Takes Out Fake Obituary for Mom to Get Out of Work

newspaperTrue story. When I was in high school, one of my girlfriends quit her job bussing tables at Old Country Buffet by saying that her dad died when he was perfectly fine and healthy. Horrible, yes; but, if you know this particular person, and all the background information to the story (and take into account the fact that we were 15), it's actually kind of funny in a sick, perverse way. The best part being that her father was the one to drive her to pick up her final paycheck.

Anyway, the story I stumbled upon this morning -- the story of a man taking out an obituary on his alive-and-well mother in order to get a couple of days off of work -- made me realize why my friend's plan wasn't foolproof: She just wasn't willing to commit.

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We grew up in a small town, so the odds of Rich, the manager of OCB, finding out were pretty high. But if she had just taken the extra step and written and submitted an obituary, like Scott Bennett of Pennsylvania, she could have kept the charade up a little longer. I guess that's one of the things that differentiates a 15-year-old girl trying pull off such a rouse, as opposed to a 45-year-old man.

That's right, Bennett's 45. He was desperately trying to get paid bereavement time off of work, so he decided to go balls to the wall and convince everyone in town -- not just his boss -- that his sweet mother had died.

I admit, I have a twisted sense of humor at times -- and I do find this kind of funny -- but seriously? This dude was that desperate for time off work that he went as far as to take out an obituary? Did he make up a mock death certificate? Was he going to hold a bogus funeral?

I'm not saying lying about anyone's death is right, but why not just say it was an aunt or a grandmother, somebody who "lived far away"? Saying that his own mother died -- and writing an obituary to back it up -- isn't only in poor taste, it's in poor planning. Did he honestly think he wasn't going to be found out? Of course he was going to be found out! And of course he was then going to be in the news to add insult to injury!

I, for one, owe Mr. Bennett, though. Thanks to his nutty antics, for a few moments today, I was brought back to my childhood. To a time when my and my friends' biggest problems in life were bussing tables at Old Country Buffet and having Rich the manager see our dad in the car when we ran in to pick up our final minimum wage paycheck. Bennett made me smile. And he also made me realize that there are some post-15-year-old people in the world with really jank morals.

How crazy is this?

 

Image via NS Newsflash/Flickr

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