PETA Out-Crazies Itself by Trying to Change a Town's Name

turkeyOn an average day, the news coming out of PETA headquarters down in Norfolk, Virginia just elicits an eyeroll. But PETA just made things personal. They're telling Turkey, Texas that they need to change their town name for Thanksgiving.

As a chick proud to be from a town with its own crazy name (and a vegetarian one at that!), I heartily object on the Turkey residents' behalf! What makes Tofurkey any better than Turkey? The animal lovers are implicating the town in the mass "murder" of gobblers everywhere, encouraging them to ditch the fowl name for a day to stand up for the birds. But I've got a better idea.

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Embrace the name Turkey! It's great advertising for those (sort of ugly) birds -- the way kooky town names are for tourism. My hometown shares its name with a Native American word for wild turkey (and a three-time Jeopardy-winning pal of mine once used that little-known fact as her tidbit to tell Alex Trebek!). It's a name that raises some eyebrows when I have to spell it out, but I love it all the more for being unique.

Flaunt what your forefathers gave you! Crazy town names are something to crow about. Don't believe me? Check these whackadoodle names on for size:

Burnt Chimney, Virginia -- Virginia is for lovers, and the folks in this little town in the western part of the commonwealth are burning with love for their kooky name.

Fifty-Six, Arkansas -- This numerically-named town is located in the heart of the Ozarks.

Dish, Texas -- What happens when your mayor agrees to let a company name your town? Free Dish Network TV for every resident.

Truth or Consequences, New Mexico -- If you think giving a company the ability to name your town is wacky, what about naming it after a game show ... which then gets cancelled?

Intercourse, Pennsylvania -- Driving through this town in Amish country, I once saw my favorite bumper sticker of all time: "Virginia may be for lovers, but Pennsylvania's the only state that has Intercourse." Nailed it! (PS. For further amusement, one might visit the town of Blue Ball, likewise in Pennsylvania.)

Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey -- A name that makes me giggle every blessed time I drive through the dirty Jerz.

Dunmovin, California -- Seeing as it's now largely a ghost town, the name doesn't seem exactly accurate. People moved!

Mayo, Florida -- My advice to the weirdos people who prefer Miracle Whip? Don't move here.

Kickapoo, Illinois -- Attention all 7-year-old boys. This town is waiting for you!

Denmark, Kansas -- Now wait a minute, I thought that was in the middle of Europe, not the middle of America. My mistake.

Monkey's Eyebrow, Kentucky -- Begging the question: do monkeys have eyebrows? I'm sure PETA has the answer!

Now come on, aren't these names more fun? I'd love to visit them!

What's your favorite wacky town name? Ever lived in a place with a moniker that jumps right off the map?

 

Image via techvt/Flickr

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