Aliens Exist No Matter What the White House Says

aliensI'm already more of a Mulder than a Scully, but the White House's recent response to petitions asking for official acknowledgement of alien contact only makes me more of a believer. I know what you're thinking: Are the feds finally coming clean about Roswell?

No, definitely not. The White House denies having any proof of extraterrestrial life. I'm just not buying their denial, especially because it came in the form of a simplistic, borderline condescending blog post. A blog post about as patronizing as the sort of letter a mayor's office would send some kid in response to his crayon-lettered petition for chocolate milk in the town's water fountains ...

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In his blog post on the White House website, Phil Larson of the White House Office of Science & Technology Policy wrote:

Thank you for signing the petition asking the Obama Administration to acknowledge an extraterrestrial presence here on Earth.

The U.S. government has no evidence that any life exists outside our planet, or that an extraterrestrial presence has contacted or engaged any member of the human race. In addition, there is no credible information to suggest that any evidence is being hidden from the public's eye.

Dear Jimmy,

Thank you for your colorful letter suggesting we switch the water in public fountains to chocolate milk ...

Uh, thanks for taking us so seriously.

If the White House really wants to put this matter to rest, they should try addressing rumors about places like Roswell and giving the public logical explanations for such phenomena. This might not dissuade the most passionate believers out there, but at least it would represent some sort of effort or establish potential credibility.

The post does list several government programs that are supposedly devoted to researching the possibility of alien life, but that seems like a pretty small attempt to appease a very large demographic.

The mayor's office is currently in talks with several dairies to find out how much chocolate milk would be needed to fill every fountain in town ...

Do you believe the White House's denial of alien life?


Image via Brian Fuller/Flickr

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