Serial Pooper Caught on Camera Taking Dump on School Steps (VIDEO)

serial pooperA Florida town can rest a little easier tonight -- the serial pooper has been arrested. Kenneth Martin Sorsony, a 23-year-old resident of Marion County, was identified by police as the man who defecated five separate times on the steps of Ft. King Middle School late at night. After the school reported that they found human feces on four occasions near their entrance, the cops set up a surveillance camera and caught Sorsony in the act during his fifth and final time fertilizing the concrete stairs. With a roll of toilet paper under his arm, the camera recorded him drop trou, and drop a deuce.

Officials asked residents to speak up if they recognized the dumper in the video, and lo and behold, someone identified Sorsony as the ghost-face crapper. So what did he have to say for himself?

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He claims he had to launch his brown missiles at the school because of "bad spirits." Sorsony went on to explain that he "needs help." I can't say for certain when his moment of clarity arrived, but when you're kept in a jail cell overnight for laying logs in public, I would assume that reality has a way of creeping in.

Oh, and he also left notes with each one of his shit bricks, but authorities won't release what the little musings said. I wonder if they're the classic "you're welcome" notes that sometimes accompany gigantic Hershey squirts, or if Sorsony got a little more creative. He did, however, leave a woman's thong along with the note after poop number three. Very unusual. Color me intrigued.

Sorsony now faces five misdemeanor charges of trespassing on school property and has been released from custody. In other words, the fast freight to fudge city has left the station. Sorsony and his stool are back on the loose. But if another place in Ocala, Florida gets a visit from Mr. Shittz von Crappen, I think we know who might be responsible.

Hopefully though, Sorsony's learned his lesson about answering nature's call. When he needs to bake a loaf next time, let's pray it's in a toilet. And that he also gets the help that he needs. Any moms out there offering a 202 potty training refresher course?

If you want to WATCH Sorsony in action ...

Any thoughts?

 

Photo via firstcoastnews.com

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