Casey Anthony Trademark Isn't the Worst Idea

Casey AnthonyThe name Casey Anthony may be mud just about, well, everywhere. But news that the federal government stepped in to help the Florida mother protect her name from a company looking to trademark it just days after the "not guilty" verdict in the murder trial over daughter Caylee's death is intriguing. California-based Grant Media actually thought they could profit off the moniker.

They won't now, thanks to the rejection from the United States Patent and Trademark Office. But were they on to something? Are there actual products that could benefit from the name Casey Anthony? Clearly no one is going to buy a tot mom-endorsed swimming pool or duct tape, but there are some clear possibilities here:

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Chlorophyll -- Did you know there are health benefits to drinking this plant pigment in liquid form? Remember Cindy Anthony's attempts to save her daughter's hide at trial with a see-through story about Internet searches for this product instead of "chloroform"? That certainly made America more aware of the stuff since fifth grade science class. It's a natural!

Plastic Surgery -- In our tight economy, anything vaguely resembling "luxury" spending is out the window for most folks. But if you want to make people really cut corners to save money for your product, reminding them what that Casey Anthony-like smile will do for their chances of getting a new job could be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

Seizure Medication -- Another idea scented with Cindy Anthony's desperation: the claims that Casey was having a seizure when Caylee somehow ran off and ended up in the family swimming pool were too horrible to think about. So horrible that maybe one of those "oh, I don't need medicine, I can manage my condition on my own" people (we all know one of those, don't we?) could be convinced to actually take their pills.

Make Money By Doing Nothing Ads -- Second only to those "lose weight by sitting on your butt eating potato chips" ads in the frequency these pop up on the 'net, they may just lead the pack in "ads completely ignored by sane Americans." And yet, now there is a bona fide example, a real, living breathing human being who has made it happen! She sits at home, doing nothing, and the government even OKs it!

Eh, who are we kidding? These ideas all smell worse than the alcohol oozing out of Casey's pores after a booze cruise. No one in their right mind would actually think trademarking her name would work. Makes you wonder about the folks at Grant Media, doesn't it?

Can you think of any product that would actually benefit from the Anthony name?


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