Grandma Requests Stripper for Her 100th Birthday

stripper maleIf I live to see 100, I think my birthday party had better be something spectacular. As in, fireworks, a marching band, and why not, maybe throw in a guy in a G-string, too. Reaching the century-mark ought to earn you some perks, right?

That's what little old Englishwoman Clare Ormiston thought, too, when she turned 100. Would she like some cake, perhaps? her family asked. And a little quartet playing classical music?

Hell no! Clare said to get her "a seat on the moon" and a stripper. Go grandma!


Don't I wish there were a YouTube video of this party. Clare's family couldn't provide her with a seat on the moon (those ungrateful, good-for-nothing kids!), but they did manage to find a handsome young man named Scorpion who obliged Mum by stripping down to his pants.

Wait a minute, Clare lives to see 100 and he just strips down to his undies? Come on. All the way, Mr. Scorpion! 

Well anyway, Clare was very polite about it. "I enjoyed that. It definitely put a smile on my face." Scorpion made a lot of people happy that day. The whole retirement center, along with many of Clare's relatives, showed up for the performance. What a gift for your community, Clare! Well done.

Clare's daughter says her mother has a "wicked sense of humor." But Clare is just getting started. "You think I'm old, don't you? But I'm just coming out." If the residents of Glenfield Residential Home have any sense at all, this will become a tradition and every resident who turns 100 will get a stripper. But in the meantime, I think the male residents had better watch out. Clare is out to redefine "cougar." Do not go gentle into that good night, Clare. As the poet Dylan Thomas would say, "Old age should burn and rave at close of day." 

What would you like for your 100th birthday?


Image via Alan Light/Flickr

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