Horrifying Exploding Toilet Sends Woman to Hospital

toiletDid you have a bad day at work yesterday? Maybe traffic was really awful and made you late, or the muffins you like were all sold out, or your computer froze and you lost an hour's worth of spreadsheeting? We've all had crappy Mondays, but we've probably never had a crappier Monday than this DC woman -- the crapper that she was on, well, it blew up.

And I'm not being metaphorical. A toilet went kablooey in her face yesterday. I had no idea that commodes could explode. Poor, poor woman!


The DC Fire Spokesman confirmed that she was taken to the hospital with serious but non-life-threatening injuries. The call to her family after that must have been pretty awful. "Hey honey? No, I'm fine, really. Just ... yeah. Yeah a toilet freaking exploded in my face. Yeah I know. I SAID I KNOW IT'S HILARIOUS. God. A toilet almost rips off my head and all you can make are sick jokes? You're such an asshole. I could've been killed! I hate you."

For the woman's sake, I hope she has a kinder family than I've imagined. What a traumatizing injury. Think she'll ever be able to walk into a bathroom again without fear? That would be hard for me. Bed pans would have to quickly become acceptable office accessories if I were to survive such a horrible accident.

But don't worry, guys. The General Services Administration building that harbors the exploding latrines has issued a memo:

DO NOT flush toilets or use any domestic water. Due to a mechanical failure, there is high air pressure in the domestic water system that resulted in damage to toilets. The engineering staff is working to correct the issue. There has been damage to flushed toilets that has resulted in injuries. We will announce when the issue is resolved.

If anyone happened to miss receiving that memo, say, because they were in the bathroom, I think they're for a whirl world of hurt. That would be a real potty pity, and a totally shitty (!) way to end up hospitalized. All's well that ends well, I suppose. I hope that poor, poor woman has a speedy recovery!

Can you think of a worse way to be injured at the office?


Photo via urbantofu/Flickr

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