Which World Leader Is the Angriest?

enda kennyIrish Prime Minister Enda KennyWho's the angriest leader in the world this week? With so many to choose from, we should get our system of evaluation straight before we proceed. Each leader gets one point for making a strongly worded speech, two points for standing up to the opposition, five points for righteous indignation, and negative 12 points for staying in his hotel room instead of flying home to deal with the problem (even if he did have a decent excuse).

Let's start with Irish Prime Minister Enda Kenny, who is SO MAD at the Vatican right now. The whole thing started over the summer when, after years of patiently expecting the Catholic Church to punish the priests, bishops, and nuns who were found to have raped, tortured, or abused the children in their care, Mr. Kenny turned into a total bad-ass and called church leaders a bunch of lying jerks.


Well, no, actually he used better adjectives to describe the dysfunction of Catholic bureaucracy. For centuries Ireland has been in the top five Most Reverent Outposts of Catholicism -- divorce wasn't legal there until 1995, and even now if you want an abortion, you'll have to try your luck elsewhere -- but an enormous sea change seems to be taking place. According to The New York Times, last week the Irish government announced legislation that it hopes will make the church accountable to local authorities, instead of just to itself. In a related move that was inspired by Kenny's strong stance, the Irish Times reports that two U.S. advocacy groups filed charges against Pope Benedict XVI in the International Criminal Court in the Hague last week on behalf of abuse survivors. What? Someone thinks the Pope is an international criminal for covering up years (*cough* centuries *cough*) of widespread abuse? Unsurprisingly, Kenny's entire government announced that they're leaving the church to become Druids. "Druidism is on the upswing in Ireland, as is Rosicrucianism, Pantheism, and Vanmorrisonism," reports a senior government spokesperson. "The equinox celebrations tomorrow are going to be out of control. Woooo!"

8 points for Kenny

ObamaU.S. President Barack ObamaMeanwhile, U.S. President Barack Obama has finally raised his blood pressure above a resting 52 by getting really pissed off about unemployment, taxes, rich people not paying enough in taxes, and Republicans disagreeing with whatever he says about anything. (The last one must especially gall him when certain Republicans are on record agreeing with what he says, just not when he says it.) And today, after a speech to the U.N. General Assembly in which he said, essentially, "Yes, Palestine deserves statehood, but it needs to make friends with Israel first. Why is that so hard? Because peace is hard. Also, why do they want to be part of the United Nations? It's not that great. Sure, your diplomats get those cool license plates, but you have to go out on the sidewalk to smoke." Even Nicolas Sarkozy, the president of France, was all, "Really, dude? My wife is pregnant, I haven't had a cigarette in months. Get ahold of yourself."

3 points for Obama

Japanese Prime Minister Yoshihiko Noda
Japanese Prime Minister Yoshihiko Noda
Also in New York for U.N. speechifying is Japanese prime minister Yoshihiko Noda, who is just totally bummed right now. It's not enough that he's still dealing with the fallout (oh, God, pun not intended) from last spring's earthquake/nuclear disaster, but now it's starting to rain really hard. Typhoon Roke hit Japan on Wednesday causing 1.2 million people to evacuate, and 13 people are missing or dead. "We just can't catch a break," Noda sighed as he symbolically cut holes in a Hefty bag to use as a rain poncho. Thousands of people who survived March's devastating tsunami are now terrified of mudslides and radioactive floodwater. "After my term is over, I'm going to get a job delivering flowers," said Noda. "I just want to do something that makes people happy for once."

-12 points for Noda




Congratulations, Mr. Kenny, if I had a "Question Authority" bumper sticker, I would totally send it to you. Mr. Obama, have you tried a nicotine patch? Mr. Noda, better luck next time and we hope this storm blows over soon.


Images via European People's Party/Flickr, the White House/Flickr, and Alex Wong/Getty

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