Man Who Swallowed 72 Capsules of Cocaine Deserves Drug Trafficking Award

cocaine Some people are just born overachievers, you know? Always going above and beyond the call of duty. Those dedicated professional types who never give less than 110 percent.

Like the 20-year-old Irish guy who was apprehended Monday at an airport in Sao Paolo, Brazil, trying to board a flight to Lisbon ... with 72 capsules of cocaine packed into his stomach.

In case you were wondering, 72 capsules = 1 kilo of coke = about $200,000.

Now that's what I call a drug mule!!

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My hands-down favorite part of this story is that authorities reportedly called the police when they noticed the man "acting nervous."

You don't say??

He was essentially a walking cocaine sausage with human casings. I can't imagine what made him so jumpy, can you?

I've never conducted a jailhouse interview, but man oh man, this guy would be my first choice. So many questions! Like, how in the hell did he swallow 72 capsules of cocaine? Even better, how did he think he was ever going to get rid of 72 capsules of cocaine?? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this would have been too big of a job for the natural elimination process to handle. Who was waiting for him in Lisbon, some sketchy dude with a scalpel? Was this the drug smuggling version of a suicide mission?

Just last week a Colombian woman died in a New Zealand hospital when a bag of blow burst in her stomach -- and she was only trafficking 26 ounces of coke.

There are about 35 ounces in 1 kilo. It's amazing the Irish mule made it as far as the airport!

Unfortunately, thanks to his gut-wrenching (ha!) stunt, he's been charged with international drug trafficking, which could land him in jail for 15 years.

As for that enormous stash of nose candy, it was removed at a Brazilian hospital ... but damnit, no details have been released as to HOW the 72 capsules were removed! Aren't you dying of curiosity?? Surgery? Laxatives? Did they turn him upside down and shake him??

If this doesn't show up on an episode of House, I'm going to be really ticked off.

How do you think they got the kilo of coke out of the drug mule's body?

 

Image via P-A-S/Flickr

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