Worst 'Roommate From Hell' Story You'll Ever Hear

suitcase on a porchWe all have roommate from hell stories. The inconsiderate ones that finish all your milk without replacing it, the kooky ones that you discover one day stretched out on your bed wearing nothing but your bathrobe and eating pork rinds, and the clinical ones with the assorted psychopathic/drunk/strung out/vomiting/screaming episodes. All that typical stuff sounds like bliss compared to a recent roommate story out of the Bronx (where else?). Let this case, perhaps the weirdest and most macabre roommate tale ever told, stand to show that before agreeing to a roommate, a psychological screening AND an IQ test are highly recommended.

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Picture it: You are in your apartment just settled under your cozy throw to watch Dancing With the Stars and all of a sudden you die. In most cases here, your roommate might try CPR or even call 9-1-1. Not Monique Exum, 36, of Fish Avenue (in case you are looking for a roommate and want to look her up, she's available).

Exum does the third most logical thing and takes the body of 73-year-old Johnny Davis and stuffs him in a suitcase. Then she wheels the dead guy down three flights of stairs and ditches him on the porch of an abandoned house. But not before she very respectfully writes: "Rest in Peace" across a piece of cardboard and places it on top of the case.

Police find the nicely ripe and decomposing body a few months later after reports of a suspicious package and track down Exum, who gave police the old third-grade excuse that she was "afraid." Someone told Exum that if they find a dead person in your apartment, you go to jail.

There's going to be an autopsy, but right now she's being charged with improper disposal of a dead body.

There are two possible explanations here: Exum is either severely mentally disturbed to believe her friend and think she'd get in trouble, in which case I wish her the help she needs, or she is the most resourceful person ever, especially if the late Johnny's name was on the lease. Rent-controlled apartments are a bitch to find these days.

What's your worst roommate from hell story?

 

Image via bialex/Flickr

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