Strip Club's $5 Entrance Fee Is Totally Worth It

strip clubI had a teacher in sixth grade who was fond of two things: Unflattering, shapeless brown sweaters and repeating herself. One of her favorite, oft-used expressions was the classic: "Nothing is certain but death and taxes." A rather grim sentiment to impress upon the optimistic minds of a bunch of 11-year-old kids, but my teacher's plan worked: I never forgot the idiom.

It was the first thing I thought of when I heard about the Texas "pole tax," a $5 entrance fee that applies to all alcohol-serving strip clubs. The Supreme Court recently ruled that the tax is not, as was argued, "an improper burden on the free expression of nude dancing," and so, clubs and patrons will still be required to put out (the cash, that is).

I might take issue with this if stripping was the only industry subject to the "death and taxes" rule, but hello?! It's not.

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Never mind the fact that nearly every single item you will or have ever purchased has been taxed within an inch of its life. If the object of your desire could be classified as a vice: Alcohol, cigarettes, probably junk food sooner rather than later, those taxes get hiked so high you'd probably save money driving to the nearest airport and picking it up at the duty-free shop.

Actually, considering how much it costs to fill your tank these days (speaking of inflated prices), you might not end up ahead after all.

Either way, my point is this: Everything else gets taxed unfairly, why should going to a strip club be any different? Besides, this is one surcharge you can think of as a donation. The money collected from alcohol-serving strip club taxes will go to sexual assault prevention programs and health insurance for the uninsured.

Do you think the Texas "pole tax" is fair?

 

Image via Richard Riley/Flickr

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