Sarah Palin for President Countdown: 6 Ways to Celebrate!

Sarah PalinLadies and germs, the moment you have all been waiting for has arrived. We now know WHEN Sarah Palin will announce whether she's really running for president. OK, so it's 67 days away, but it's just 67. No more than that or she'll bypass the deadline to get on the primary ballot in Florida.

I'm almost as excited as a pitbull wearing her best lipstick! But before I pee all over the floor like my favorite female dog when she gets excited (don't get your panties in a twist, I mean the four-legged critter who makes my table shake as bad as an East Coast earthquake when she scratches her ears), I'm trying to calm myself down with some "keep busy activities" appropriate for an announcement of this magnitude. Perhaps you'll join me?

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1. Go walking with dinosaurs. It seems the former Alaskan governor's scientific guesstimate of the time humans came to populate the earth wasn't totally off. The Dinosaur Live show is booking in Australia right now!

2. Take a pull off a motorcycle exhaust pipe. Like Sarah, you've got to just LOVE the "smell of emissions" in the morning. THAT'S what she's smoking.

3. Warn the Brits! Paul Revere may not have warned our pals from across the pond that they were coming because that makes absolutely no sense. But who cares? Jump on Twitter, do an advanced search for people tweeting from Britain, then scroll through and see who has states-bound travel plans. Shoot them a little warning!

4. Hit up the United States Patent and Trademark Office. The little TM next to her name is so darn cute. I want one!

5. Get a pedicure! I don't know about you, but the OPI rack at my local Sephora is haunted. It screams "buy something" every time I walk by. And you know what's cuter than that TM? Her polka dot toes.

6. Stuff Our Faces With Some Serious Junk Food. How dare those Obamas tell us to eat healthy? My hips have asked for a s'more thankyouverymuch. (Disclaimer: Neither I nor the government will help you pay for your heart attack treatment. You're the one who ate your way there you lazy fatty).

Are you ready for the big announcement?

 

Image via Thomas Gaume/Flickr

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