10 Most Terrifying Things About Hurricane Irene

I officially got scared of Hurricane Irene when I heard New York City was possibly shutting down the subways. But lack of public transportation is only one aspect of Hurricane Irene that terrifies me.

I am not one of those people who filled a bathtub in preparation for Y2K (OK, yes I did). I did not, however, buy bottles of water or batteries or flashlights. I am not into doomsday scenarios or apocalyptic fears. But I am worried about this hurricane.

We're torn between staying in the city, which is prone to flooding, or going more inland and rural to our family country house with my parents and assorted other family members for the planned family get-together this weekend. No matter what we decide, though, I am scared. And here are 10 reasons why:

  1. Not having coffee: I'm preparing the French press, but how will I get hot water? Will the tap run hot enough? And if I do have hot water, will it be hot enough to brew the coffee? Also, my French press only makes one large cup and I really like milk in it. Does this mean I have to share and drink it black? STRESS!
  2. Missing Bachelor Pad: It may seem small, but on Monday night, they're also announcing the new stars of Dancing With the Stars. I'm not OK with missing this.
  3. Playing board games with my parents: My dad cheats at Scrabble. That's all anyone needs to know.
  4. Tree falling on my house: Seriously, this is a legit fear. What do we do if a tree falls?
  5. Losing my Internet connection: I am never far from the Internet. Without it, I would have to, like, talk to people? Hold me.
  6. Schools will flood: I've waited all summer to send my kids off to school. We have the outfits ready, supplies purchased, new backpacks stuffed. Everything is labeled. If my daughter's school, which is prone to flooding, floods out, then what? This will not be acceptable, Irene.
  7. Basement flooding: This is almost a guarantee. Every damn time it rains, our basement floods. By now we have everything on the ceiling.
  8. Running out of YoBaby: Have you heard my kids when we run out of their favorite yogurt? No? Then don't mock. I dread Monday morning with no yogurt.
  9. Spoiled stuff: If the electricity goes, we have a lot of food that will go, too. What a waste.
  10. Grocery lines: I have places to get to and things to do. I don't feel like waiting in two-hour lines at the grocery store with hundreds of paranoid people buying batteries and canned goods.

The good news about the country house is we have a generator, so if we do go that route, there will be power for about a week. The bad news is the much-increased likelihood that I will be playing board games. In the dark. With my parents.

But at least we will be downstairs, away from the trees.

And as we can all plainly tell, I use humor to deal with real fears. A top 10 list of my REAL fears would not be very funny at all. But let's hope on Monday morning once this passes, we are all able to laugh a bit about all of our fears together.

Are you scared of this storm?


Image via CoreBurn/Flickr

Read More >