Mystery Orange Goo Is Even Worse Than Alien Larvae

fungal spores microscopeEarthquake in NYC, hurricane en route, Will and Jada split (probably) ... and now this? Marine biologists have come one step closer to identifying the freakish orange goo that recently washed up on the shores of a remote fishing village in Alaska, and guess what?

It's even worse than they thought!

Sort of. It's definitely not a good sign for our planet, especially after all the other crazy happenings of this past week.

Wait a sec ... how many Signs of the Apocalypse are we supposed to get??


Anyway, the sticky substance is not, after all, alien larvae. No, the zillions of tiny beads biologists thought were some kind of mystery eggs or embryos aren't even non-alien eggs, it turns out. Upon closer inspection, scientists made a very different, but still quite disturbing, discovery ...

There's a fungus among us! (But we're still not sure where it came from.)

Yes, the mysterious material is "consistent" with fungal spores known for causing the plant disease "rust," which is basically a parasitic infection. But these cells don't match up with any of the 7,800 known species of rust, so researchers still don't know what to make of the day-glo invader. Villagers are more stressed than ever -- what if the parasite poisons all the local marine life? (I did mention this is a fishing village, right?) What if it taints the water supply?

Here's what I want to know: Why does the ocean all of a sudden have a fungal infection? Mother Nature isn't supposed to get athlete's foot, you know what I'm saying?

At least alien larvae would have been cool. This is just gross.

Do you think marine biologists are ever going to crack this case for good?


Image via NOAA

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