This Orangutan Can Do Something Most Politicians Can't (VIDEO)

orangutan wash faceI've always thought of the mighty orangutan as the wisest of the primates. (I always thought of chimpanzees as the cutest, but then that whole thing with the lady getting her face eaten off happened, so now I think of chimps as furry demons from hell.)

Anyway, back to orangutans. Something about that knowing look in their eyes, their languid movements, those high, wrinkled foreheads ... you can just tell they're thinking some seriously deep thoughts.

So I'm not surprised by the incredible face-washing skills of today's Internet star, an orangutan at Tokyo's Tama Zoo. He uses a washcloth!! Just like a human being! Which makes me wonder ...


If perhaps we wouldn't be better replacing most of our politicians with orangutans. Think about it: The handsome ape in this video clearly knows how to keep his nose clean. How many politicians can say the same?

Another quality orangutans have that politicians don't: They're resourceful. Orangutans are known for their clever, industrious use of "found objects" as tools, including leaves as gloves to protect their hands from spiny fruit and branches as bee-swatters.

Would our National Debt have climbed so incomprehensibly high if orangutans had been running our country?

I think not.

The only case against switching to an orangutan-led government, as far as I can tell, is that one family scandal. You know, the one no orangutan likes to talk about? Not that I blame them. If the truth got around, it could permanently damage their reputation as smart, innovative creatures.

So, you didn't hear this from me, but: Orangutans share 96.4 percent of their DNA with ... it's true ... human beings.

It's a shame, isn't it?

Do you think this orangutan is intelligent enough to run for office?

Image via Discovery

Read More >