The Wrong Way to Track Hurricane Irene

hurricane tweet

It's about time our kids get back to school soon because they are really dumb. College and school kids tracking Hurricane Irene are about the only ones hoping the season's first hurricane smashes into The States later this week, because it means school closures. Oh, children. They have no idea what they're asking for. This is not like a snow day where classes are canceled to keep people safe at home and off the slick roads. This is a major storm that has the potential to do some serious damage. And ruin their awesome social lives in the process.


Hurricane Irene tweet

Hurricane Irene is on the warpath with her sights set for Florida on Thursday. Right now she's just a Category 1 storm but still delivering a major bitch-slap to Puerto Rico. The place is a mess. Half the island is out of power. Ten inches of rain and 80 mph winds. Flights are canceled, people are stranded. They are also without water. That means no water to drink and no SHOWERS. How would the kids like that? No washing their hair for many many days. They'll be too busy to go on Facebook because their parents will have them running out to the Red Cross emergency center for jugs of water. And they certainly won't be able to hang out at the mall, not that they want to smelling like that anyway.

Hurricane Irene tweet

Oh, this is just what our silly kids do, of course. Meteorologists are predicting the storm may reach Cat 3 by the time it hits the Sunshine State, which means winds of 111 to 130 miles per hour, which is some pretty scary stuff. Winds of that magnitude cause structural damage to homes, destroy mobile homes, rip off roofs, and cause power and water outages for weeks at a time. It's nothing to joke about, but that doesn't mean others aren't making a little light of the situation too because ... that's just what grownups on Twitter do, too.

Do you think these are funny?

@fauxjohnmadden Faux John Madden
BREAKING - Due to fast speed, Raiders interested in acquiring Hurricane Irene.

@The_Gambit Gambit
Hurricane Irene expected to go Cat 3 before landfall. Cone of Uncertain Doom has shifted a bit:

@HeckYeahSteve Steve Williams
Hurricane Irene? Who comes up with these names. I'm imagining a giant old lady in a shopping trolley riding around destroying everything.

@Escobar1279 Eric Escobar
2 good things about hurricane Irene she's very wet and she can blow ;-)

@ammeliiaa Amelia DeLise
hurricane irene, i hate you #beeninturksandcaicostoolong #pleasedontcancelmyflight

Are you tracking Hurricane Irene? Is she planning a visit to your town this week?


Image via Twitter

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