Teen Girl Exorcists Are the World's New Superheroes

the exorcistThe story I'm about to tell you ... well, my interweb friends, it's like a blogger's dream come true. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. Even if I did, you wouldn't believe me. Exorcist schoolgirls who travel the world casting demons from the possessed?! Yes! Yes, this is actually something really happening right here on this planet. I kid you not!

And it gets better! As you're probably aware (who isn't?), cases of demonic possession are on the rise. Skeptical? Two words: Charlie Sheen. See, I told you.

The problem, apparently, is that the Catholic church is running low on exorcists these days. The Vatican's chief exorcist, Father Gabriele Amorth, has performed over 70,000 exorcisms himself -- and he's 85 years old! (Does the Vatican not have a retirement plan?)

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Thank You-Know-Who for Reverend Bob Larson of Spiritual Freedom Churches International and his "school for exorcists"!

Larson sends hundreds of trained, professional (!?) demon-slayers around the globe, answering thousands of calls and letters begging for help from people claiming to be inhabited by evil spirits.

But his most effective team of exorcists is a group of Arizona-based teen girls, including his own 16-year-old daughter, Brynne.

And before you even think of it, I call dibs on the movie/TV rights to this one! Buffy the Vampire Slayer, eat my dust.

Anyway, it's said that teenage girls are especially talented when it comes to casting out demons, though no one is sure exactly why. I'm assuming it has something to do with those sparkly crosses they hold up like light sabers or their fancy-schmantzy Bibles, or maybe the fact that all of them somehow sort of resemble Bristol Palin.

Of course, they're not letting the whole exorcist-hype thing go to their heads. Brynne, for example, loves "styling her hair, shopping, and meeting her friends at Starbucks" when she's not banishing the devil's minions back to hell.

Well, duh. Considering what a messy job exorcism can be, a gal's gonna need an endless supply of clean clothes. And just imagine how many times a day she has to wash the pea soup out of her hair!

FYI: Symptoms of demonic possession include sleeplessness, anxiety, and headaches ... so, you know ... something to think about, that's all I'm gonna say.

What do you think 'posessed' these girls to become exorcists?

 

Image via YouTube

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