Roseanne Barr for President Makes a Lot of Sense

roseanne barrLast night on the Tonight Show With Jay Leno, Roseanne Barr sat in the guests' armchair and waxed poetic about green living, what it's like to be a nut farmer, and how she's a reformed a-hole. I was warming up to the abrasive comedienne when she dropped a bomb, and red-white-and-blue confetti, on the crowd: Roseanne Barr is running for President of the United States of America ... and for Prime Minister of Israel, too. (It's a twofer, she says.)

We all know she's nuts, but I have to say, her platform under her Green Tea Party doesn't sound all that crazy. In fact, it kind of made sense.


Could this funny lady who once butchered the National Anthem be the next patriotic leader we've been looking for? Roseanne tells Jay that she's totally serious about running because a) she wants to be a part of the debates, and b) she wants to represent the taxpayers. In fact, she says the taxpayers will be her VP running mates! So far, I'm down. I'd look good on Air Force One.

Here are the other reasons why I think she'd make a good president:

  • Her sense of humor. Roseanne 2012 bumper stickers have slogans like, "It's about time we had a President with some nuts" and, "Finally a President who can't get the maid pregnant." Ha!
  • She'll ask Congress the tough questions like, "Where the hell did our money go?"
  • She'll legalize marijuana. Apparently she needs it to calm down after the stress of driving in LA. Oh and she suggests that it would end all the drug wars, then we could invade Mexico and take their oil. Hmm.
  • Her America's Green Tea Party sounds both calming and delicious. Roseanne had to start her own party since the Republicans and Democrats "both suck and they're both a bunch of criminals." Hear, hear.
  • She'd get rid of taxes, and forgive all student loans and all debts. Hmm. I'm down with the student loan forgiveness, but if there aren't any taxes, that means there aren't any taxpayers, which means I can't be Vice Prez ... not cool, Roseanne. You got my hopes up!
  • She's got nothing to hide. "I've got no skeletons left, all of them are out there, everyone knows everything about me." No illegitimate kids? No intern scandals? No alcoholism? Now that would certainly be a welcome change for a politician.
  • Don't have any money? Good news, Roseanne wants to get rid of it entirely. "I'm getting rid of money. There'll be no more money, no more money systems. Everything will be based on barter." In the country she runs, the currency will be vegetables and nuts because, as she deftly points out, "You can't eat money."

I've got a peach and a banana in my fridge, a tin of almonds in my cupboard, and a deficit of $34 in the bank. That said ... Roseanne for President!

What do you think -- does she have your vote?

WATCH Roseanne explain herself on Leno:

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