J.Crew Continues 'Gay Crusade' to Corrupt America

j.crew pink polish adIf you missed it, last month, J.Crew -- the church of preppie people everywhere -- had the audacity to run this catalog photo featuring a 5-year-old boy wearing pink nail polish while hanging out with his mom.

All hell broke loose.


The mom is J.Crew president and creative director Jenna Lyons. And while we're supposed to believe that it was she who wielded the polish brush, we all know that it was some lowly stylist who was burdened with the task of getting the kid to sit still, not only for the duration of the pedicure, but also long enough for the polish to dry. (People, we're talking about a 5-year-old boy.) Jenna likely appeared in the camera's frame just in time to gaze lovingly into her son's eyes, say cheese, and make the rest of America's moms look bad. The creative corporate power-house who also has time to be a doting mom. Does she really expect us to shop at J.Crew after pulling that stunt? (Did I mention she's thin?) But I digress.

That's not at all what caused the uproar.

Social conservatives and quack child psychologists saw the picture of a boy wearing nail polish, totally lost their shit, and accused Jenna of messing with her son's gender identity and turning him into a freak of nature who would be a blight on society for all his live-long days. Another wackadoodle said J.Crew had exploited Beckett under the guise of promoting a "facade of liberal, transgendered identity politics." Candlelight vigils were held outside J.Crew stores praying for the souls of its employees and patrons. (Okay, I made that up.)

After all that, you'd think J.Crew would have learned its lesson. But, nope, the company is up to its old tricks. This month, J.Crew continues its crusade to spread preppiness and, oh right, its "gay agenda" throughout the land. To wit: The May 2011 catalog features a photo of J.Crew designer Somsack with his boyfriend Micah (Nantucket-worthy names are given during J.Crew employee initiation) under the caption "Happy Together."

j.crew gay ad

Take all the time you need to collect yourself.

As was the case last month, J.Crew has refused to comment to the press about its newest "controversial" photo, but it's pretty obvious what the company is trying to do. Sell clothes. To Americans. In America. That's just so, um, un-American? Next thing you know McDonald's and Budweiser will want a piece of the $835 billion LGBT consumer market too.

Sadly, millions of social conservatives have been left in a quandary, uncertain as to where to purchase their whale pants and blue blazers. And this, with summer fast approaching.

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