Hells Angels Advertise to the World They're Beating People Up

hells angelsUsually when people commit crimes, they kind of want to keep a low-pro, no? Isn't that why jewel thieves wear stockings on their heads, and bank robbers wear masks of dead presidents? That really happens, right? And then an up-and-coming FBI agent, who bears a striking resemblance to Keanu Reeves, and a been-there-done-that senior agent, who looks like Gary Busey, crack the code and realize the thieves are a gang of surfers. Or is that just Point Break?

Anyway, the point is you don't want people to know when you're doing something illegal. Unless you're in the Hells Angels. Then you would wear jackets that say "Hells Angels" in big, bold letters when doing things like beating two dudes up with knives at a Lauryn Hill concert.


Look, I realize this is something I could never possibly relate to. Like Groucho Marx, I never got down with the club thing. I did "Yearbook" in high school for about seven days and quit when I realized my artistic vision was never going to be executed properly. (I think it would have been cool if all photos were in sepia, and all font was typewriter.) And when a few of my girlfriends pledged sororities in college, I opted for nights of Daria reruns and Easy Mac during rush week. However, I do know that there has to be a line that divides loyalty and stupidity. Punching and stabbing guys while rocking your "club" gear is totally asinine. Why didn't you just wear a trucker hat that read, "Cops, I'm going to be doing some illegal stuff around 9 by the back entrance. I'll be waiting for your arrest." Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. (Yes, I know you got away, but cops are looking for you. And they're gonna find you. 'Cause you're gonna be wearing a Hells Angel varsity jacket or something.)

And, please, don't let the tongue-in cheek tone of this post fool you -- I'm not condoning any of this awful, caveman-like behavior period. With or without jackets. Attacking other grown men because you think they're a Mongol (a rival motorcycle gang) is inexcusable. I actually find it hard to believe that we still live in a world where childish, trashy, machismo behavior like this takes place. Get a life, guys.

That said, if any Hells Angels are reading this -- and I'm sure they are -- please don't come after me for writing this, guys! I'm just a lowly blogger doing my job. And I have a baby shih tzu who needs me.

What do you think of the Hells Angels members who attacked two men? And what do you think of them doing it with their jackets on?!

Image via dwhartwig/Flickr

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