China Doesn’t Want 'Time Travel' Movies Corrupting Its Citizens

clocksEverybody knows America's got its problems. Our economy's in the crapper. We're fat as hell. And our leaders just can't seem to agree on some things. However, when you look at Italy and their bunga-bunga parties, and China and their crazy ban on time travel movies (yep, you read that correctly), America is A-Okay!

So, check it: China has recently banned any movie that contains the following:

Fantasy, time-travel, random compilations of mythical stories, bizarre plots, absurd techniques, even propagating feudal superstitions, fatalism and reincarnation, ambiguous moral lessons, and a lack of positive thinking.

Are you freaking kidding me?! A world without time travel movies?! That is simply banoodles! The next time I complain about our country, I'm going to think about how the movie W was in theaters. And how it made fun of George Bush. While he was still in office!


See, it's not that the government feels that these plot lines are hacky and trite. (Hu Jintao has seen Back to the Future soooo many times. And, then, what with Lost, forget it, he's done with time travel.) It's that they don't want people "rewriting history" because they feel it goes against "Chinese heritage." So, in other words, they don't want writers to write.

By no means do I claim to be Bill Shakespeare, but as a writer, I'm not a fan of censoring the arts. I don't necessarily agree with censoring "anti-establishment" art of any form, but I can kind of understand where the government is coming from -- they don't want to look bad. When I went to see W in the theater, the second thing I kept thinking was, "It's pretty awesome that this available to the public. This would not be flying in many other a-country." The first thing I kept thinking was, "How did Oliver Stone manage to make such a controversial figure so incredibly boring?"

But a movie about time travel? You mean to tell me that it's illegal to watch Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure in China because you feel that it's disrespectful to the past? Not being able to watch it should be illegal. And what are they going to do when Bill and Ted 3 comes out? If the Chinese aren't able to see it, that would be most un-excellent.

As a supporter of the arts, this ban bums me out. As a human being, it makes me giggle at its ridiculousness. And as an American, it makes me proud! USA! USA!

What do you think of China's time travel movie ban?


Image via psyberartist/Flickr

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