Dad Walks Out After Birth When Doctor Says the Boy They Were Expecting Was Actually a Girl

iStock

newborn baby girl feet wrapped in a pink blanket
iStock

There is so much excitement built up when anticipating the birth of a child. There is a lot to look forward to and things to prepare for. Some parents like a little extra preparation, so they find out the sex of the baby before the birth. Doing so allows them to come up with a gender-specific theme for the nursery and clothing and pick out a name before the baby is born. However, what some people don't realize is ultrasounds that predict the baby's sex aren't always 100% accurate. It can lead to disappointment in some families when this happens.

  • One dad took to Reddit to share a situation that happened after the birth of his first child.

    "When my wife was pregnant, I didn't give a s--- whether it was a boy or a girl," he stated on Reddit's AITA community. "We found out the baby was a boy halfway through at the anatomy scan, and I was excited as all h---. I bonded with that little man inside her belly."

    OP said they had chosen a name for their boy, and he spent the remaining months bonding before birth. "We were going to call him Gideon, and I talked to him every day, read stories to him, told him all about the adventures we would have once he was here. We did the nursery up, got a ton of clothes, the works."

    OP said that when his wife arrived at the hospital in labor, they did an ultrasound to make sure the baby was head-down. "Nobody mentioned anything about the sex even though we were talking to the doctor and the resident saying it was a boy, and he has a male cousin three months older so it's perfect, etc.," he said.

  • Advertisement
  • Labor progressed, and he was by his wife's side until the baby entered the world.

    "Labor time comes, my wife is pushing, and suddenly there's a head of hair and screaming, and I'm overwhelmed with emotion until I see that the baby is not, in fact, a boy," he confessed.

    "My wife cuddles her close but I was just shocked. I was ready to meet Gideon and now this wasn't Gideon. I felt like I hadn't gotten a chance to bond with this new random girl, unlike my wife who carried her for nine months."

  • The dad said that he "stayed for a minute to make sure my wife and baby were both stable, and then I left the room and cried a bit."

    According to him, he was gone for about 10 minutes. However, the birth process wasn't done when he walked out of the room. "However, in this time I missed the cord clamping which apparently happened right after I said I'm leaving the room to get some air. I didn't know this. Nobody told me."

    He said since that initial period where he left the room and cried, he has found himself "totally in love" with his daughter. "Like I said, I never cared about the sex although if pushed I would lean towards preferring a boy and my wife leaned girl."

    The dad said he needed to have that "time to process" and when he did he realized "the obvious conclusion that the baby I read to and sang to was still my baby even if it wasn't the baby I pictured in my head, I loved her more than I thought possible."

  • The dad said that's what he was doing when he left the room right after the baby was born.

    "This took all of ten minutes to clear my head. However, my wife has still not forgiven me for not being there for ten minutes, which was after she had given birth and while was smiling dopily at the baby, in no pain or distress," he said.

    "She's mad that I missed the cord clamping but I don't even think it's that big of a deal. She thinks it's unforgivable that I didn't love the baby the second she came out just because she was a girl."

    He added, "I left because I knew my emotions were f----d and I didn't want to make any part of the labor a negative experience for her by saying anything slightly negative. Well apparently by leaving I ruined the birth so I lose both ways."

  • He asked the people of Reddit if he was in the wrong for leaving his wife for that time period.


    "YTA. You should have been there to support your wife and your baby," one Reddit member wrote.

    "You would have had to leave pretty quickly to miss the cord clamping," the person continued. "Not to mention just because the baby pops out doesn't mean pain/distress are over. There is still delivering the placenta, having multiple people up in your junk possibly suturing or repairing vaginal injuries, etc. I get being shocked but you should never have walked out on your wife and you missed important memories you will never get back."

    "NAH you had the right to be shocked because you were expecting Gideon and this was not him," a commenter wrote. "You had to take 10 minutes to adjust your expectations which is completely reasonable. She isn't an AH either because I think she was more upset that you walked away, missing the cord cutting [than] all than the reasoning behind it, which is also reasonable."

    "YTA not for being, for a lack of a better word, disappointed, but for leaving your wife and new child one minute after she was born," another person commented. "I get that it was a surprise but you should have held it together to be there for the first moments of your child's life. I suggest apologizing to your wife. That being said, congratulations on your daughter."

    Another commenter agreed and pointed out that his wife was just as surprised.

    "YTA you may have been gone only ten minutes but clamping the cord didn't even take that long. So I’m not sure what your point is there," the person wrote. "Did you even consider that your wife was surprised? She didn't have the luxury of 'getting some air' and essentially grieving any potential disappointment or shock that she felt. You left her alone with the surprise of a baby girl."