Stepmom Refuses To Cook for 'Fussy Eater' Stepkids Because It's 'Too Much Hassle'


child eating slowly

Raising kids is not easy, and it seems many parents have the same struggles when it comes to feeding their children. Kids can be really picky about what they eat. It's so common that restaurants that have a kid's menu most often will contain the same few food items: chicken nuggets and fries, pizza, and macaroni and cheese.

Although kids will outgrow their picky eating habits in the majority of cases, while in the thick of the struggle, parents can become frustrated and unsure of what they're supposed to do to encourage their kids to expand their palates.

  • One stepmom is dealing with picky eating stepkids and is so frustrated she is refusing to cook for them any longer.

    An anonymous stepmom (OP) took to Reddit's popular Am I the A--hole channel to voice frustration over her stepkids' eating habits.

    "My husband and I have been together for five years and married for one." She wrote that her husband has two children: 9-year-old Lily and 6-year-old Ben. "They usually stay with us for two or three weekends a month. We have no kids of our own (yet!)."

    "I do most of the cooking because I enjoy it and I also work from home," the OP added. "That isn't normally an issue because I do genuinely enjoy cooking."

    However, there have been some recent struggles, and she's "been having issues with food when my husband's kids stay with us."

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  • OP says the kids are "fussy eaters" and it's a struggle. 

    screenshot of Reddit channel

    "I think it's safe to say they're fussy eaters. When I ask them what type of food they like they say 'I don't know,'" the stepmom said. "Lilly takes at least three years to finish a plate of food, or say she's not hungry, doesn't want the rest of her lunch, and then immediately ask for a packet of crisps. I always tell her no, you can't have crisps because you're not hungry!"

    She added this: "Ben has had meltdowns over the cheese in his ham and cheese sandwich (he asked for ham and cheese godd-mnit!). Now I just make him a ham sandwich, which is fine."

    According to her, both she and her husband "are really into our health and fitness. This means that we don't tend to eat the same foods as his kids (like nuggets and chips). I end up having to cook two lunches and two dinners."

  • The stepmom said she's putting her foot down when it comes to making food for her husband's kids.

    "Before he went to get the kids yesterday morning, I said to my husband 'I want to try and get the kids to eat the same foods as us. Do you think they'd like that?' He said that we might as well try."

    And that's what she did. OP made chicken and salad wraps for lunch. "I honestly though this wouldn't be a problem. It's pretty standard food right??" she said.

    "I was wrong. They both sat there and picked at their food. My husband ended up bribing them with ice cream if they ate all of their food. I was out last night so my husband cooked dinner for the kids (not before sending me 10 messages asking what he should cook -- no surprise, it was fish fingers and chips)," she wrote.

    "When he got back from dropping the kids off today he asked if we could just go back to eating separate meals. He said it was too much hassle trying to get them to eat what I'd cooked. And it genuinely was hassle because of how fussy they are," OP explained.

  • And that's where the stepmom put her foot down.

    "I said sure -- but I'm not cooking two meals because it's too much hassle for me," she said. "I'm happy to cook for the four of us. He's more than welcome to make them fish fingers if they don't want what I'm cooking."

    And her putting her foot down caused issues. "He thinks I'm an a--hole because 'I won't cook for his kids' and 'don't care what food they like' but I think he's an a--hole for expecting me [to] behave like a live-in chef."

  • OP asked the Reddit community if she was in the wrong, and the answers were all pretty much the same.

    Reddit was fairly universal in saying that the stepmom wasn't the one who was wrong -- that kids should eat what they're given.

    NTA. I have three kids and have never made separate meals for them," one wrote. "They eat what we are having and all of them eat vegetables and enjoy them. The only pain is that the youngest (11) is not into spicy food at all. I find the “feeding your kids crap” approach unfathomable to be honest."

    "You never said you 'won't cook for them', you said, you will not cook a separate meal for them, which is absolutely reasonable, if he doesn't want to deal with them being fussy, then he can cook an extra meal, you are his partner, not his maid," another person wrote.

    "NTA. But your not going to be able to force them either," another person commented. "My youngest is around your girls age and she can be picky. It also takes her all night to finish her plate. You gotta pick your battles. I literally do not care how long it takes her. Her stomach is tiny. Her energy is high. Whatever. But I won't cook two meals."