Grandma Insists New Mom Needs Formula for Her 'Small' Baby & Says Her Breast Milk 'Isn't Good Enough'


mom holding her newborn baby

There is a lot of stress when you're a new mom and second-guessing is a part of the learning curve. It's important to have people who support you in your corner, people you can lean on and ask advice without feeling judged. Unfortunately, not everyone has the same access to support, and it can be quite brutal.

One new mom is struggling with a person in her life who, instead of giving support, throws criticisms her way. She took to Reddit to share her frustrations with her mother, who has been anything but supportive.

  • The anonymous new mom shared a frustration in the JUSTNOMIL community. 

    There are many aspects of motherhood that we feel should come naturally, but don't. Breastfeeding is one of those situations and if a parent decides to breastfeed, support from family is so important because it's not easy in the beginning. The new mom said that she has decided to breastfeed her new baby, but the little one's grandma isn't making things easy.

    "This is a straight up rant I'm sticking to my guns but should anyone want to give advice feel free," OP started her Reddit post off with. The new mom said she had her baby girl just last week and she was born "3 weeks early and she was a bit small" weighing just over 5 pounds.

    "Ever since I've been back home I've had to deal with a barrage of comments from various family members for me to feed her formula," the mom said.

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  • The new mom said that while in the hospital with her baby, there were some temporary feeding issues.

    "When I was in the hospital they briefly gave her some [formula] because she was having latching issues and they were concerned about jaundice due to her blood type," the mom said. "She didn’t like the formula and kept spitting it up."

    Those first few weeks of breastfeeding are the hardest -- for mom and baby. Getting used to the routine, figuring out latch issues, and waiting for the milk supply to become consistent (all while healing from birth, btw), isn't easy.

    Thankfully, for OP, the feeding issues resolved when she and her daughter got home from the hospital.

    "I got home and the latching issues improved and she’s been nursing consistently," OP said.

  • Unfortunately, despite things improving with breastfeeding, her family is still pointing fingers. 

    "That has not stopped the constant comments about needing to switch to formula," the new mom said. And the criticisms are coming from her own mom—the new grandma—and putting blame where it shouldn't be.

    "My mother insists that's the breast milk is giving her gas/colic that it's my fault she has gas because of my bad eating habits and that my breast milk isn't satisfying her," OP wrote on Reddit.

    "The funny thing is I have actual reasons for wanting to stick to breast milk," OP continues. She acknowledges that her decision doesn't impact anyone else and was sure to add, "no shame on anyone who chooses formula."

  • And the mom has made sure her doctors and the baby's doctors have no concerns, which they don't.

    "I just came off a damn paediatric rotation," the mom said. "Every single medical professional I've spoken to has said I don't need to supplement with formula. They all just have old wives tales about why she has gas/colic."

    However, despite the new mom getting the OK from everyone on her medical team, and telling her family many times that she is choosing to breastfeed, the criticism hasn't stopped.

    "No matter how much I say no I'm not giving her formula it keeps coming up so much so I just got a WhatsApp message saying that if formula has to be bought a it would be bought and a picture of enfamil gentlease because apparently my milk is f--king my kids insides up," OP said.

  • The JUSTNOMIL community came through with advice and had OP's back. 

    "Your breastmilk is specifically made to cater to whatever bub needs," one commenter wrote. "I throw absolutely no shade on formula, but there is literally nothing better than breastmilk (it even says so on the formula tin). My bub was born prem, also 5lbs. He had a few bottles of formula in the hospital for the same reasons as yours. I got him on the boob exclusively as soon as got home from the hospital." Adding, "You're absolutely doing the right thing for your baby, and if you decide to go the formula route, do it because YOU want to, not because anyone else forced it on you."

    "Good for you for sticking with it!" another comment read. "Breastfeeding can be so challenging even without naysayers constantly harping. As long as she's nursing and making her weight goals that's all that matters."

    "I just had my baby a few weeks ago and also had to supplement with formula because mine had latching issues and she doesnt do well with formula either, it upsets her tummy," a third supportive comment said. "Keep going with what you know, mama, you know what's best for YOUR baby. Babies will get colicky, that's just what happens, dont let them make you feel guilty. Best of luck and congrats on your little one!"