Grandpa-To-Be Refuses to be in Delivery Room Even Though Daughter Is 'Begging' Him


pregnant woman in hospital bed

When you're pregnant, the thought of labor and delivery for the first time can seem really intimidating. If it's not something you've experienced before, maybe you're fixated on the potential pain or listening to too many horror stories. Either way, it's scary for those in labor even though it's natural. And it can be just as hard if we have our loved ones in the labor room, too.

One mom-to-be has asked her dad to be in the delivery room with her for support, but he flat out refuses.

  • The grandpa-to-be took to Reddit to ask if he's in the wrong for refusing to be there for his daughter.

    "My daughter is 18," the original poster said. He added that "she got pregnant and decided to keep the baby." He then says that his daughter wants him to be in the room when she delivers her baby. And that makes total sense! Women who have given birth several times over, who are far older than 18, want their parents in the room for support.

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  • Despite OP loving his daughter, he says he's still not interested in being there.

    He said, "I love her and want to support her but I really don't want to be in the delivery room because I don't want to see her naked."

    Yes, that's his excuse. Because that's totally what happens in every labor and delivery, right?

    He then asks, "Is dads being in the delivery room for when their daughter's give birth even common/normal?"

  • And it's really clear that his daughter is really asking for him to be there for her as the support person.

    The dad's telling of the situation makes it sound like the mom-to-be doesn't have a whole lot of support and would really like her dad to be there for her.  

    He wrote, "My daughter is begging me to be in the room. She doesn't want her mom as they argue a lot." OP also says, "The father is a jerk so he won't be there. I might suck it up and go but I really don't want to."

  • He asks Reddit for their input, asking, "AITA for not wanting to be in daughter's delivery room?"

    People chimed in with their feelings on the situation, and the majority of the commenters had the same feelings.

    "NAH," one person said, referencing the OP's question. Then added, "but your daughter obviously needs you and wants you there so it's the right thing to do. You can likely stand near her head, you may not even see all that much."

    Another wrote in with some larger perspective. "Yeah, I agree with NAH, but also... she's a teenage girl who's pregnant during a global pandemic." The commenter continued, "It sounds like she's terrified, and if he says no then she might end up giving birth alone. I guess OP doesn't have to be there, but she's always going to remember how he chose not to be with her during a scary, painful, potentially traumatizing time. Their relationship may never recover from this."

  • Some people offered some sound advice to OP, along with sharing their feelings.

    "YTA and I know I'll get downvoted because 'no one should ever have to do anything they're uncomfortable with bla bla bla', but birthing a child is the most non-sexual nudity can get," one person commented. "Your daughter is asking for your support while she is in the hospital and you don't want to do it because you MIGHT see a flash of her nipple or something? You don't have to look straight into her vagina. I honestly don't think my dad would have even hesitated if I had asked him this."

    Another said, "NAH. I can understand seeing your daughter in pain and vulnerable could be very upsetting to a father, please also remember she is alone and scared and trusts you." They added, "That is why she wants you there. Please try to find the strength to be there for her."

    This commenter also gave some advice for both OP and his daughter. "I would highly suggest you look into hiring a Doula for your daughter (the sooner the better)," the commenter said. "She can be there in the room helping you support your daughter, she can deal with the medical staff on behalf of your daughter (birth plans are crucial) and then your daughter has 2 trusted people on her side and you are free to stay at the head of the hospital bed and focus on supporting her."

    Hopefully, this grandpa-to-be is open to hearing these perspectives, too.