Husband Calls Wife 'Selfish' for Refusing to Let MIL in the Delivery Room


woman in labor man helping

When it comes to giving birth, it's an intensely personal experience. Some people are more comfortable giving birth at home, surrounded by their family, while others want to be in the hospital with nurses and doctors. Because the baby is coming out of our bodies, we should have a say in who is in the room. A whole lot of personal stuff happens during labor and delivery, and our comfort should be a factor in making the decisions on who should be in the room. But not everyone feels this way, it seems.

  • A mom-to-be hit up Reddit's to ask if she's in the wrong for telling her husband she doesn't want her mother-in-law in the delivery room.

    In the AITA thread, an anonymous woman gave a backstory on an argument she and her husband are about her upcoming labor and delivery. The original poster wrote, "I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant with my first baby, a little girl and I'm absolutely ecstatic. I was told at 19 that I was infertile so to have this miracle come along is just an absolute blessing and I couldn't be happier. I've been with my husband, the father, for just over 3 years."

    But there is some strain with her MIL. "The issue comes with his mother. She is possibly the most overbearing woman I have ever met," she wrote. "I'm almost positive that in her mind her son is still 12 years old. I got on with her great at the beginning of our relationship but after we moved in together she was at our house literally every single night, and wouldn't leave until about 10pm."

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  • And since her pregnancy announcement, the MIL has treated her differently.

    "She also talks to me as though I'm just an incubator for her sons child, sometimes she'll just talk to my stomach without even acknowledging me which feels so dehumanizing," OP shared. "She and my husband are very close, but I feel as though I have no time alone with him because she is constantly there."

  • OP is putting her foot down when it comes to labor and delivery. She doesn't want MIL there. 

    "I honestly don't want her in the delivery room when I give birth but my husband is adamant on her being there," OP said. "I feel so selfish but I want my husbands support and I don't feel as though I'll have it with him constantly tending to her."

  • She told this to her husband, but they still didn't see eye-to-eye. 

    "I brought this up with him and he told me I was being ridiculous and selfish, and that I need to get used to her being around a lot," she said. Adding, "I feel as though my birth is going to be so stressful with her around but my friends have told me just to let her be there and ignore her, and my husband is obviously refusing to let me ban her from coming."

  • OP then asks, "AITA for not wanting her there?" and people had feelings. 

    "Hell no, NTA. Your husband has NO SAY in how you give birth," one person commented. "When he pushes a football out of his junk, he can have his mommy there. But YOU are the one giving birth, not him. Period. Hell, have hospital security outside your room, if that's what it takes."

    OP replied to this comment and said, " I said this to him and he said it was his baby just as much mine! I feel as though it's a complete losing battle." And the person responded, " It's YOUR BODY. Honestly, I would 100% support kicking HIM out of the delivery room, at this point..."

    Another person said, "Giving birth is a MEDICAL PROCEDURE, not a spectator sport." Adding, "People are only there to help and support YOU. No one should be there that stresses you out or makes you uncomfortable. They should be there for you, not the baby."

    "Tell the nurses that under no circumstances is she to be allowed in. They will listen to your wishes. He cannot overrule them," another person said. "I do hope you and your husband can work this out first. However, if you don't want her there she will not be able to get into the labor and delivery ward."