Parents Called 'Greedy' For Adopting the Kid Their Sister’s Friend Was Trying To Adopt First

mom son and dad hugging at the park
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The decision to grow your family isn’t always straightforward. Some people decide to start a family, they get pregnant, and then they have their baby. For others, adoption is what feels right for their dynamic, and along that journey, things aren’t always along a straight path. One person tells the story of how they came to adopt their 7-year-old son and the drama it caused in their life afterward.

  • An anonymous person posted in the Reddit channel AITA to share the story of how they came to adopt their son.

    Posting in Reddit's Am I the A--hole forum, the original poster (OP) started off the post with a little bit of back history. “My wife and I had adopted my niece Katie when she was 3,” the OP wrote, “and when she was 6 we were looking to adopt another child. My wife’s friend introduced us to her sister, Jill, who was also trying to adopt.”

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  • The friendship between Jill and OP started to grow, and two months later, Jill found a child she wanted to adopt -- a 7-year-old boy named Henry.

    The OP and wife, along with their first child, met Jill and Henry at the park one day. “Henry and Katie instantly got on,” the OP wrote. “Henry was a great kid but very hyper, presumably because he was excited to meet Jill. Jill commented to me that she hadn’t been able to calm Henry down all morning, and asked if we could watch him for a second while she took a breather.”

    While Jill took a break, the OP and their family spent time with Henry, and they had a good time. “Eventually it was time for us all to leave, so we went our separate ways.”

  • Several weeks after their meeting at the park, Jill called the OP to say the adoption of Henry didn’t go through after it was “rejected” by the agency. 

    According to the OP, Jill wasn’t able to adopt Henry because “he had refused it,” so the agency “had to decline.”

    A few months went by. Jill and her family had a “different child she wanted to adopt and started the process,” while the OP and their family attended an open day at a local home “where several prospective parents/families meet the kids.”

    Henry was there. “We were using the same agency as Jill, and it was coincidence or luck depending on how you look at it,” OP wrote.

    Henry recognized them from their time a few months earlier at the park. “Henry remembered us, we still got on great with him, and we ended up adopting him.”

  • According to OP, Henry said he didn’t allow the adoption with Jill to go through because “she didn’t have a lot of patience and wasn’t willing to work with him, while we were a bit more flexible.”

    The OP didn’t believe it was necessary to discuss the decision to adopt Henry because they weren’t close to Jill. They also didn’t tell their friend who introduced them to Jill. Instead, it came out on social media when the proud new family of Henry shared the news he was joining their family.

    “After adopting Henry we posted an updated family photo on social media, which a different friend shared, and that was how the first friend saw it,” the OP explained in the post. “She told Jill that we’d adopted him, and Jill replied to our post that she’d considered us friends and we’d adopted ‘her son’ out from under her.”

    OP wrote that they “clarified the timeline immediately” but their friends “couldn’t believe we’d done that and saying Henry should essentially be seen as off limits to us because he’d rejected Jill.”

    To add insult to injury, the OP added, “some [were] even calling us ‘greedy’ because we already had my niece while Jill had no kids.”

  • The story ended with the OP asking if they were “TA,” and the community didn’t shy away from answering. 


    One commenter pointed out that Jill was being selfish for getting upset over this. “But how incredibly selfish of all the friends AND Jill to not see the value in this child being adopted,” the person wrote in the thread. “They are literally saying that you should have left him in foster care because he denied Jill. That is appalling in itself.”

    Another wrote, “Also shame on your friends for agreeing that you should not have adopted him. It’s like they are saying that because he rejected Jill he didn’t deserve a family of his own unless it was with her.”

    The commenter continued: “They should be happy that you guys found a child who had a connection with your family and wanted to be a part of it. As far as I am concerned you guys did nothing wrong as I’m sure the majority if not all of us feel the same way.”

    Reading through the comments, other people are pointing out that they’re talking about a human, that you can’t call "dibs" on a person, and all everyone should want is a happy home for this boy. And if that’s with OP and not Jill, it was meant to be.