Woman Refuses To Honor Mom's Dying Wish To Give Her a Grandchild & People Are Calling Her 'Selfish'

hospital bed

When we are losing a loved one, we want to honor their life and legacy by upholding their wishes. Sometimes it is an easy thing to accomplish: Stay in touch with your sister after they're gone, or go away on a weekend trip -- simple things that might bring them peace. 

Then there are people like this Reddit user's mother, who asked her for something not so simple ... a grandchild.

  • The 33-year-old woman says she's happily married with a few pets and no children. 

    Her mother, a 67-year-old cancer survivor, was recently diagnosed with another, more aggressive form of tumor, and the prognosis isn't good.

    "She and I aren't close," the Reddit user clarified. "She has untreated mental health issues (I suspect BPD) that made my life hell growing up, and even in my adult years she's often tried to control my life to make it more like hers. One thing we've always disagreed on is the topic of babies. My mother loves babies (but not children, who have opinions) and has desperately wanted to be a grandmother from the moment she found out she was having a daughter."

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  • Unfortunately for this woman's mother, the Reddit user is happily and intentionally childless.

    The mom pleaded for her to get pregnant now so she could potentially meet the baby in her last year alive. The woman, of course, said no. 

    "Now, several of my mother's friends, who in the past had supported my decision, are calling me up to say I'm the [expletive] for refusing her dying wish," she explained. "They're pointing out that my spouse and I could afford a child (true) and that we already have more space in our home than we need (sort of true), and therefore the only thing that's stopping me from popping out an infant in 9 months is, in their opinion, that I'm a horrible selfish child."

  • People were a little blown away that anyone could call her selfish. 

    "You're really mature, responsible and smart to not have a child to appease another person," reassured one reader. "A child is not a toy that you can return once your mother got her few moments to coo over it. You'd be responsible for that child for at least two decades, and if you don't want a child, it would be crazy to take on that responsibility because your mother wants you to."

  • Though it is hard, people were really impressed she stood her ground.

    "I have--nor ever will--understand why people pressure others to have children when they know that they know they don't want one," wrote one user. "I admire people who KNOW they want to be childless. Good on you for knowing, and double-good on you for setting boundaries."

  • The most important thing that the original poster should take away from this is that not having a kid is the least selfish thing she can do. 

    "How are you being selfish when she’s the one demanding something from you that you don’t even have or want? We are in no way obligated to produce children just because... Only people who want to have children should have children," someone commented.

    Amen to that.