Mom Bans MIL From Seeing Grandson After She Sabotages Potty Training With a 'Harmless Joke'

Toddler potty training
@hahnee12/Twenty20

Potty training is a tough stage in a child's development, so nearly all parents can relate to the challenges involved in making "it" happen. Whether you start toilet training at birth or wait a while until your child seems ready for the potty, every step that it takes to get your child to sit on the throne and poop or pee is important. When something -- or someone -- messes with the process, it can take your child back to square one. That's what happened to this mom when her mother-in-law made what she claimed to be a joke to the toddler when he was about to go to the bathroom. Now he refuses to use the potty. Taking to Reddit, the mom explained how she is so furious with the grandmother that she banned her mother-in-law from seeing the 2-year-old boy ever again. 

  • The anonymous mom explained that she's been potty training her son and recently saw progess.

    In her post, the mom shared that she has been potty training her 2-year-old boy, and he has his own plastic potty.

    "He has been doing very well with using it until about two weeks ago," she wrote.

  • Advertisement
  • That was when Grandma came over to visit and made an announcement while the boy was going to the potty.

    Sometimes extra support and cheers from a family member can help a child in the midst of potty training feel encouraged and proud to show off this milestone, like "Yay, me! I did it!"

    But it seems this grandma, the mother-in-law, had another idea. 

    "I was taking my son to go use the bathroom," the mom wrote. "She then decided to tell my him 'Be careful, a monster might pop out of the toilet!' My son then started crying, and he refused to use his potty and wet his pants instead."

  • The mom was understandably furious, and her husband was also on her side. 

    When the mom and her husband approached his mom, she refused to back down, and things got heated.

    "My husband and I asked Grandma what the hell she was thinking, and she only got defensive and insisted that it was just a joke," the mom wrote on Reddit. "She refused to apologize. So we kicked her out of the house."

  • Since then, their toddler has been back in diapers -- and his parents blame his grandma 100%.

    Although the family had made so much progress with potty training, the son has reverted back to diapers for the past two weeks and refuses to use his potty.

    The parents believe his grandmother is to blame. "After discussing with my husband, we mutually decided to permanently ban his mom from ever seeing our son again," the mom wrote.

  • Grandma is now devastated and begging for forgiveness ...

    The grandma realizes that the parents are seriously not going to let her see the grandson anymore. They say they're not willing to forgive her.

    "[S]he refused to apologize the first time," the mom shared, "and she's only sorry now because there are going to be negative consequences for her. We don't forgive her, and she isn't entitled to any forgiveness whatsoever. She isn't welcome in our home anymore."

  • Most Redditors think the punishment does not fit the crime.


    "When I was young, my grandparents made all sort of jokes and while some did get me, I was not harmed in any way and years after they would fondly tell me about those times and we all get a good laugh," one commenter wrote. "I even get why she didn't apologize, it is RIDICULOUS that they would ban her over something like that. Especially the husband, how could you treat your own mother like that?"

    "This seems like a major overreaction," another person commented, "and that's coming from someone who understands how hard it is to potty train kiddos. Maybe a lifetime ban is a wee bit harsh? Ban until potty training complete? Perfect. She might learn a lesson from it. Don't be so quick to toss out people that will love your child stupid over something like this."

    "This seems extremely excessive and spiteful," someone else wrote. "I'm guessing you were already looking for a reason to block her out? Does this mean your husband is never gonna get to see his mum again too? This is very very controlling behaviour."

  • However, some people think the grandma got what she deserves.


    "For the husband to have decided that his own mom should never see his son again, I'm fairly certain that there's more going on here than just the potty-training thing," one commenter wrote. "The lack of apology until real consequences came down is also pretty telling. This isn't just somebody with a f---ed up sense of humor, this is a toxic person who refuses to accept when they've done something wrong."

    A second commenter wrote something similar." I agree with you for a temporary ban instead, but the fact that she refused to apologize or acknowledge that what she did was wrong is very worrying. Doesn't she care how that affected the kid? It seems she is only sorry because they are consequences for HER."

    "If Granny has done stuff like this before, then she does need to be at least kept minimal contact. The not apologizing is also a bad sign," someone else noted. "I think they should give her a bill for the diapers he uses. That isn't cheap. Looks like the cost is somewhere around $5-$10 a day. Granny possibly cost them a few hundred if this lasts a month. Longer and it could top a thou. All for a little 'joke.'"

  • It seems there could be some compromise between the parents and Grandma.

    Although teasing the child may have been wrong, it seems like the parents banning the grandmother is extreme, unless there are other underlying issues that we're not privy to.

    "Talk this out with her and explain why it upset you," one commenter suggested. "It’s certainly guaranteed you’ll isolate yourselves from your whole family if this is the way you treat people around your kid."

    Hopefully, the mom, dad, and his mother will be able to talk out this situation and reconcile. Maybe she can stay out of their potty-training process and the grandson will still be able to enjoy his grandmother. And possibly, the mom and dad will forgive her monster joke if she sincerely apologizes for it.