Dad Wonders if He’s Wrong for ‘Relentlessly’ Going After Child Support He ‘Doesn’t Need’



A dad has Reddit divided after he admitted in a recent post that he's "relentlessly" going after child support from his ex -- even though he doesn't necessarily need the money. Despite the internet backlash, the dad felt like perhaps he's the one who's been wronged. "She never wanted anything to do with [my son]," he wrote.

  • It all started with a "fling" back in college.

    The man's ex got pregnant. At the time, she thought about terminating the pregnancy, the dad wrote in his post on the subreddit. "But her mother said she'd cut her off if she did that," he recalled. "I personally have a hard time believing that because her mom and family are the most kindest people I've met."

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  • His ex even considered giving up the baby for adoption.

    But that was before her "living saint" of a mother stepped in and contacted the dad, who then sought full custody. Now, his ex has no involvement in their son's life and "only pays child support."

  • When their son was 3, his ex got a job in New York City as an art curator and moved halfway across the country.

    But the dad didn't mind as long as she continued to pay her child support.

    It's been about five years since she moved. The original poster (aka OP) reported that he is doing well financially. "And I make roughly twice as much as my son's birth giver," he shared.

    He continued, "Periodically, I either hire an investigator or her mom just tells me she got a raise and I go to court to adjust the child support accordingly. The last time I did this, she didn't show up for court, and I apparently overestimated how much her raise was, and I got a default judgment."

  • In turn, the OP's ex begged to pay less.

    But the OP wasn't swayed. "After I said no, she insulted me and my son," he wrote. And that's when he hung up.

    He concluded, "I feel like I'm looking out for my son. If he doesn't have a mother, the least I can do is make sure he has the best life possible." 

    The OP then asked other Redditors to weigh in and comment on whether he's the jerk in the situation.

  • Some people could not believe the audacity of this man.

    "You make twice what she does," one Redditor wrote. "You spend money hiring private investigators, so you can keep taking her to court and get more money out of her. Are you unable to care for your son? On top of this, you know that because of you she is being asked to pay more than she should. You could easily ask her to pay less. And you don't. Yeah, you are the [expletive]."

    Another commented, "You and her mother forced her to give you the child and now you’re taking her for child support. Dude, you’re an [expletive], and so is her mother. What a spiteful human being you are."

    A third wrote, "As someone with experience being the child of divorced parents, move on bro. Relationships aren't always fair, and it seems like you're just doing it out of spite. If you're financially stable there is no reason to be doing this."

  • Others agreed the dad was within his rights.

    "A judge makes the final decision, not you," one commenter wrote. "You're simply giving your child every possible advantage that you can in life. If genders were reversed, the opinions here would be very different. Proud of you for standing up for your child in the place of an absent parent."

    A second person commented, "He's your son, you have the right to raise him, and non-custodial parents should be paying child support." 

    Another Redditor observed, "Switch the genders, would we even be asking this question?"

    The answer isn't so simple. Co-parenting is about trying to work together to give your child the best life possible. Hard to see how draining his ex for every last penny is going to accomplish that.

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