I'm Not 'Selfish' For Canceling My Baby Shower Last-Minute

Kelsey Pfleiderer

Kelsey Pfleiderer
Kelsey Pfleiderer

Among many other events, meetings, and celebrations, my husband and I canceled our baby shower. Suitcases out, cookies, decor, and appetizers ordered, we were gearing up for an unforgettable weekend. Being pregnant with our miracle rainbow baby boy, gathering together with those we love most is extra special at this time.

But we canceled it. Because we live in the Florida Keys and were planning to gather in our hometown of Orlando where all of our family and friends are, the risks far outweighed the reward.

  • Oddly enough, this felt like a selfish thing to do at first.

    Letting down those who’ve helped us work hard to plan the event, canceling food orders, and canceling on family and friends who were so eager to feel a baby boy kick on this bumping belly.

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  • You may be walking through these same feelings.

    Feeling bad for canceling social plans on someone going through a tricky time, hesitating on canceling a deeply needed vacation for fear of being judged as overreacting by others, asking your boss to work from home. Although this feels self-centered, limiting our social interactions and staying home as much as possible is the most loving, community-minded thing we can do at this time.

  • Things may feel out of control, but we have more of a grasp on this than you realize.

    By staying home as much as possible, you are greatly decreasing the chances that this COVID-19 outbreak continues to spread at a rapid pace.

  • If you are young and have no pre-existing conditions, God bless you!

    Many folks in this scenario could experience the illness with little to no symptoms, or no symptoms at all while carrying it for weeks. In the meantime, they can be going about their normal business and unbeknownst to them, infecting those most vulnerable. Please do those of us a favor, those who are immunocompromised, those in high-risk pregnancies, those with chronic illnesses, those that are elderly, and appreciate that health you’ve been blessed with by loving us all from afar.

  • We are virtually connected better than ever.

    So after you cancel those trips, parties, meetings, and stay home as much as possible, spend the time you’ll have cozied up at home sending virtual greeting cards to those who are fearful right now. FaceTime a family member. Send a virtual greeting card to a hospital. Send an email to care-workers -- simply thanking them for all they’re doing and letting them know they’re being thought of.

  • Cooped up in your own home is far from selfish.

    It’s, in fact, the most loving, selfless thing you can do for those you love, and for our country, right now. All the easier to get through all that spring cleaning, right?

  • Sending many prayers and warm, virtual hugs to all.


    Stay home. Wash your hands. Love on your people (from afar). Love on your country (from afar). Then? Wash your hands again.

    This essay was republished with permission and was written by Kelsey Pfleiderer. Follow her journey on Instagram here and her website here.

health & safety