Husband's 'Breastfeeding Tips for Men' Post Sparks Heated Debate

Paul Spadone holds up a sign that says
Breastfeeding Mama Talk/Facebook

It's August -- aka National Breastfeeding Month -- which means we've been seeing a lot of social media posts calling on the public to normalize breastfeeding, support nursing mothers, and stop getting all bent out of shape over how a mom chooses to feed her child. For the most part, it's pretty empowering stuff, which is certainly the theme one dad's recent viral post was aiming for when he shared it on Facebook this week. But instead, it's been met with mixed reactions -- drawing praise, as well as some major side-eye from breastfeeding moms everywhere.

  • The post was originally written by a dad named Paul Spadone, whose wife later submitted it to the popular Facebook page, Breastfeeding Mama Talk.

    Spadone begins by saying he feels it's "important to also share a husband’s perspective on breastfeeding, despite the fact that I neither have the proper human anatomy nor the desire to ever have another human latched on to my nipples." 

    (LOL. I feel that, sir.)

    "I have supported [my wife] through her breastfeeding journey with all three of our children, and there are two things I can say for certain," he says.

    So far, so good ... right? Except, wait until you hear the two things.

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  • "Women have extraordinary bodies," he begins, " ... and breasts are forever ruined for me." 

    ... Sorry, come again?? Surely, he must not mean that his wife's breast are "ruined" to him after watching him feed their children for years. Surely, he must be getting at some other, more deeper and heartfelt something.

    To clarify, Spadone begins to list the many things he's learned about breastfeeding over the years, as a sort of "cheat sheet" for new dads everywhere.

  • No. 1: "The mystery and resulting excitement of seeing your woman’s breasts will forever be gone," he shares.

    "After seeing your wife whip them out 8+ times a day to feed your newborn child, you soon become accustomed to just seeing boobs on a daily basis everywhere you go," he explains. "Anywhere from next to you on the couch, eating at a restaurant, flying on a plane or riding in the car you will soon become numb to the fact that your wife’s boobs are always out and about."

    To be fair, I can see how a once rare event loses some of its luster when it starts to become more commonplace, but there's just something about the way Spadone describes it that feels like a total ... well, buzzkill.

  • Another tidbit he's learned over the years? "DO NOT TOUCH THEM!” Spadone says.

    "Bottom line, those babies have endured constant abuse from feedings and the breast pump," he explains. "They are sore and worn out so it is my advice that you just keep your hands to yourself and consider you wife’s breasts no longer for your pleasure."

    ... no longer for your pleasure? Good Lord, this guy really seems to like driving home the whole "your sex life is officially over" narrative.

  • He also takes some time to issue a PSA of sorts, writing: "New Fathers, heed my warning. Sagging will occur!"

    "Do your best to burn the image of your woman’s breasts in your mind pre-pregnancy because those hooters will no longer be the same," he writes. "Your woman’s breasts will be experiencing a rollercoaster ride of changes over the next several months."

    Aww gee, what a shame for the 'ole hubby! That roller-coaster ride your wife's body is going through must be real rough on you!

    "There will be times where those babies are the size of double D’s causing your woman’s bra to be bursting at the seams," he continues, "but in the end they will look like deflated water balloons saddened and exhausted from the abuse your child had put them through."

    Oof. He finishes off this point by reminding men to "keep your mouth shut," since the last thing an insecure new mom needs is her "dumbass" husband pointing out these changes. (Honestly, that point is fair.)

  • There is actually a quite a bit of the post that rings true -- like Spadone's constant reminders to be supportive, no matter what.

    That means washing bottles, getting her some nipple cream, and "helping her lug around her breast pump parts because she has a full time job as the mother of your children (aka glorified dairy cow)."

    To those points, moms of the internet largely applauded him, nodding to all the ways in which men could definitely be more supportive. 

  • But as for those other points? Many women just couldn't seem to shake their tone.

    "He literally says 'breasts are forever ruined for me,'" wrote one woman. "His tone is a bit rude, like, 'hey fellow guys, better get used to ugly tits that aren’t your playthings.' This could have been very sweet, but it left a sour taste for me."

    She wasn't the only one.

    "Some of this is great and funny," another woman admitted. "But I'm so glad my husband doesn't have those thoughts about mine. After three babies, he thinks they're still absolutely perfect and doesn't give a crap if they looked different beforehand. The excitement is most definitely not lost for him either. I kinda feel sorry for this guys wife. He sounds like an ass."

    Others took offense by the whole "my wife's body is no longer mine" thing, too, with woman commenting, "Ummm those breasts were never 'yours.'"

    Another woman was straight-up LIVID.

    "So incredibly unimpressed with this arrogant, selfish interpretation," she wrote. "He's lucky his wife let's him touch her anywhere with this attitude. Why on EARTH was this shared here?!"

  • On the other hand, there were plenty of other moms who more or less told the rest to LIGHTEN UP!

    "Came to see who would be offended by this," wrote one woman. "Y'all didn't disappoint. Let us take the sticks out of our a-- and not be so dainty please. My husband loves my body, but i'm sure this is what he's thinking too. Good on this guy for being supportive and real about the whole situation."

    "I honestly cannot believe all the negativity from other women on here about what he said," wrote another woman. "His wife sounds completely supported and that's all that matters. In a world with so much negativity already, why cant we just be happy for something positive? Why do we have to dissect it and pull it apart?"

    It certainly does seem that the dad's intention was to be supportive -- that is, after all, the message he routinely kept repeating throughout the post. To that point, I'd say it's pretty clear he loves his wife, and appreciates the sacrifice she's made. Then again ... he might wanna rethink his delivery on the whole "boobs are forever ruined for me" part of his argument. (And the saggy tits part, while he's at it.)