Mom is Furious at SIL for Getting a Tattoo of Her Kids' Names Without Her 'Permission'

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woman and baby at beach
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A tattoo can be such a special way to let someone know just how much you love them. But instead of feeling special, one mom found a relative's recent tattoo to be a bit creepy. As she explained online, her sister-in-law recently got a tattoo of her children's names ... without bothering to tell her about the gesture first. Sure, it's a nice idea, but the mom argued that her SIL doesn't spend much time with her kids, and she only found out about the tattoo after her SIL posted about it on social media. So now the mom is torn: Is this sweet or are does she have a right to be upset?

  • The mom explained that she found the tattoo "disturbing" and is fuming that her SIL would get the permanent mark about her kids, without her knowing.

    The mom explained on Reddit that her SIL never asked her or her husband about the tattoo before she got it; she "just posted a picture on social media once it was done," and now the mom is fuming.

    "She is not a close beloved aunt of my children -- they see her once a year and talk to her briefly on holidays," the mom wrote. "They never talk about her or ask about her between those times. They like her well enough, but she likes to lecture them and attempt to parent them, so a little of her goes a long way."

    The mom believes her SIL was hoping to get a little praise for the gesture, but "I have nothing nice to say."

    "Instead of the cost of a tattoo (this tattoo is huge [by the way]), how about a plane ticket to visit the children you claim to love so much?" she wrote. "She talks about my children taking care of her when she’s in a nursing home... why would they? They will be busy with their own families, and taking care of their parents!"

    And that's not all. The mom admitted that she was so angry over the tattoo that she told her husband to cancel their upcoming vacation to visit her SIL and her husband's parents. "I have been taking my anger out on him, which is probably unfair but I feel his lack of communication with them leads to this kind of crazy," she added. "Am I supposed to feel flattered? I feel like if anyone is going to tattoo my kids’ names on their body is should be me or my husband!"

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  • Online, some people agreed that the gesture was strange and see where mom is coming from.

    "The tattooing is weird," one commenter wrote. "Going limited or no contact with the offender makes sense to establish boundaries."

    "That’s some strange social media attention whoring," another commenter agreed.

    "I have to wonder if the tattoo is real," someone else wrote. "She seems like the kind of person to fake a tattoo for attention on social media."

  • Other people were more upset with how mom is handling her emotions and thought her "payback" went too far.


    "Stopping them from seeing their grandparents? What did they even do?" one commenter asked her. "That seems like a severe overreaction; it’s a tattoo of a name. It doesn’t even affect her."

    "The only one really hurting someone with intent is OP for taking it out on her husband and punishing her own kids by not letting them see their family," another commenter added. "She hasn't once asked how anyone but her seems to feel about it. There's nothing wrong at all with her feeling weirded out by it, because it is weird, but I don't understand why she's getting so angry at it."

    A third person had a different idea of what was going on. "The whole bit where she mentions aunt has no children of her own but was still in childbearing range is where I decided OP was an (expletive)," the person wrote. "She just doesn't like SIL."

    Ultimately, the mom felt that sharing her story had been "so cathartic."

    "I feel like I released steam and got validation from people who recognized the narcissistic nature of the tattoo and I’ve also calmed down," she wrote. "Most of the people calling me out are assuming things that aren’t true and that’s ok."

    She added that she agrees that her SIL has a right to do whatever she wanted to with her body, but "I also feel I have a right to be mad and think it’s weird. I’m still annoyed by the narcissism of it, but feel sad for her because she doesn’t have her own kids and maybe she never will," she added.

    "It’s too bad she doesn’t choose to get to know my kids for real, and generate a real relationship with them," she wrote. 

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