Breastfeeding Mom's Snarky Message to Bottle-Feeding Dads Is Everything

Daddies of young babies, I have something to ask of you. Could you please be more considerate of other people when venturing into public spaces with your child? All I'm asking for is a bit of modesty.


Specifically, I'm talking about feeding your baby. When you pick up your baby to feed it, your arms flex in that position. Being a woman with natural biological drives, I can't help but stare at your flexing biceps. It's impossible not to look! And I don't think most of you realize how tantalizing your flexing biceps can be.

So there I am, trying to enjoy a meal or wait in line for the bus or whatever, and I'm forced to think sexual thoughts because you're all feeding your babies with your arms obviously flexed like that.

It would really be best if you could simply time your outings, so that you're at home when baby needs to eat. It's quite easy: Just wait til baby eats, then leave the house and do your errands, and then return home when baby gets hungry again.

If you have to be out all day, although I can't imagine what you'd need to do out of the house for that long, there are appropriate places for you to hold and feed your babies. What are bathrooms for, am I right?

At the very least, throw a blanket over everything. But honestly this isn't the best strategy because I still know what's going on under there. It's very hard for me to focus, and not constantly envision your arms flexing under that blanket... I really don't need any reminders of what you're doing. It's kind of a private moment, don't you think?

Thanks so much for understanding. I know most of you have never considered women's comfort when feeding your babies, and now that you're more aware you'll try harder to accommodate our needs.

Remember, a little modesty goes a long way! You want us to respect you, right?

This post was written by Emily de Cleyre and was reprinted with permission. 

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